subject: Give Yourself A Break - The 3 Secrets That Show You How [print this page] In an ever demanding society, there are so many stressed out individuals, who have set themselves high expectations in their studies, careers and relationships. We cannot always be expected to reach these standards consistently, but we feel frustrated, inadequate and guilty when we don't. Our need for success comes from celebrities who "have it all", money, power, good looks and great relationships. However, one needs to recognise that one cannot be good at everything all the time. Of course, it's important to set yourself goals and targets. But they have to be realistic and achievable in the given time frame. Do not try to stretch yourself to breaking point, do what you can do and don't feel guilty about the rest. The following exercises can help you to learn to give yourself a break;
1)Stop trying to achieve perfection
Sometimes we spend too much time and effort perfecting things. A key example is wedding planning, where we want things to be perfect on the day and plan so that nothing goes wrong. This means that on the actual day when things go wrong (which they always do!!) i.e. it's raining, the bride gets stuck in traffic, we panic or get upset. We have to accept that things can go wrong on the day and learn to laugh and smile about it. Try to reassure yourself that it's not important and is part of our life long learning process. Of course, one always plans for perfection, but keep in mind that this does not always occur.
2)Make time for yourself
Remember you can't help anybody or achieve anything worthwhile or work to your full potential, if you don't make time for yourself. Don't feel guilty taking time out from your children or work environment. Start off with 10-20minutes per day. By giving yourself a chance to gather your thoughts, feelings, you can become more productive and motivated. Remember your brain is always working whilst you are resting, so don't feel guilty about wasting time. You will find that some of your best ideas come from after taking a refreshing break or from a slight change in routine. Your children will still love you and the work will still get done but you will feel much better.
3)Learn to breathe
Allow oxygen to come into your body. Proper breathing keeps the blood stream oxygenated and reduces stress. Yoga and Tai Chi are great exercises for learning to breathe. These exercises can help you cope when things haven't turned out how you planned or how you would have liked. They can distract you from negative thoughts entering your mind.
It is only when you stop analysing what is done and torturing yourself over how you could have done it better that you will feel a sense of peace and calm. When you know that you have done your best and you could not have done any better, there is a sense of relief and closure. Only then, will you begin to accept yourself and give yourself a break.
