subject: Hope in Multiple sclerosis [print this page] Hope in Multiple sclerosis Hope in Multiple sclerosis
I remember the first time when I was diagnosed this word came into play. I know that there was likelihood that it was Ms but I also had the "hope" that it may not be Multiple Sclerosis. But the diagnosis was confirmed and the meaning of this small word took on a new direction in my world. The day after my diagnosis I still remember thinking the doctor telling me that as yet there was no cure, but he did give me "hope" that one day this cure will be found as they are doing groundbreaking work in the field of medicine.
Living in a country, were we are about 5 years on average behind any other modern country in the world; I looked back into history and remembered Louis Washkansky. Today that name has long been forgotten in history, but it meant something to me. He was the first person ever in the world to receive a heart transplant, but even better this was done here in my country, just about 10 miles from where I received my diagnosis. This gave me hope that if we were able to do this here, we might be able to find a cure for this disease that I have. My hopes were even more uplifted when I received a phone call a couple of weeks later asking me if I wanted to partake in a drug trial that could benefit me.
I had now idea what I was getting in and how safe this all was, but I now had "hope". It was explained to me that this new drug an Interferon could at least slow down this disease. I was frightened because in those years all I new about multiple sclerosis it could put me in a wheelchair be it in a short time or in about 10- 15 years. But my fears were even worse as I had lost my vision for a period, and this could happen any day again with very little warning. My emotion and my logical thinking were in conflict with each other. My heart telling me; Take this drug", but my mind was telling me; "What if it does do me more harm than good". Eventually I signed on the dotted line accepting the fact if it does not help me or even harm me, I am in the fortunate position to contribute to science and help others in the future. The trail ran its course and I still had relapses, and my "hope" was a bit dashed.
Eventually over time I accepted my fait, but a new "hope" was looming. I started getting better on my own, and eventually the number and intensity of relapses decreased and eventually stopped. In about four years I was now what I thought Multiple Sclerosis free, and my "hope" for a better life was here as well. The next MRI confirmed this as well and the only long term reminder was the one constant lesion in the vision centre. In the back of my mind was still that slight caution from the doctors that it my return one day. But still I had "hope" as time was on my side, and perhaps "I hoped" with the next round there will be better medication and also a cure. With a very few problems over the next couple of years I was leading a productive life again, but most of all I had "hope". And even though my Multiple Sclerosis returned again in 2006 with a vengeance, I still turned my head to science and medicine for that "hope".
I guess this is about the point were I have to get my message through in this story, before I bore the pants of you all. We are faced with new challenges each day in multiple sclerosis, but we are also faced with new "hope" every day. Even a trial on a new medicine or procedure, no matter how big of a disappointment it may turn out to be, it still gives us "hope". Now this where I can see the reaction on all your faces, how does a failed trial give us "hope"? Multiple sclerosis is a disease of mystery and also a big puzzle consisting of pieces that may or may not fit. With every bit of this puzzle that we prove do not fit we are that much closer to get the pieces that do fit. So in a sense with every mystery that we exclude, we are one step closer to find a cure. And that gives us "hope" that we will cure this disease on day. But the biggest "HOPE" is that of trials on medicine and procedure that may put us closer to a cure or even a stop in progression.
Never give up "hope", take this four letters with you on your journey through life.
