subject: The Reason Why Youre Depressed [print this page] Do you want to find out why youre feeling down so much? It boils down to the primary symptom, SELF-HATRED, also known as SELF-JUDGEMENT. Self-hatred always accompanies depression. A judgement is not the same as a FACT. Judgement lies at the core of your depression and REALITY is the REMEDY. Self-judgements have these features:
=> 1. DICHOTOMIES: Judgements infer that the only option available is to select one of two radical constricted possibilities, for example: nice/horrid, moral/immoral, or superior/inferior.
=> 2. COMPARISONSwith other people or an ultimate self: Compared with her Im useless or compared with how beautiful I should be, I fail.
=> 3. AN IDEAL SELF that you should measure up to. Ideals are perilous because they represent appearances of perfection that are impossible for GENUINE human beings to reach. As an actual human being you will have the full variety of human emotions, flaws and rejections of all human experience.
=> 4. THE SHOULDSand musts of internal dialogue are significantindicators of self-judgement.
=>5. ARBITRARY, VAGUE, GENERAL: All judgements are unsystematic and do not have a sound connection with reality nor do they have exact, measurable criteria. Why describe yourself as ugly rather than useless, worthless or unlovable or any other label? As far as exact criteria go, if your nose measures more than 2cm and your eyes are less than 3cm apart, does that mean you are unattractive? The futility of these statements is apparent.
=> 6. PERVASIVE, REPETITIVE AND SHORTHAND: Self-hating internal dialogue is constructed rapidly using straightforward, memorable phrases that are repeated continuously, like a mantra but inaccurate for all that.
=> 7. CONSCIOUS & UNCONSCIOUS: Self-judgement will catch you by surprise: you will only be aware of the most miniscule, most obvious of it. Unconscious forms of self-hatred are very powerful and can only be transformed with the help of a competent professional.
CAUTION! Self hatred can be fatal and regularly kills its victims! Here below summarises a March 2010 article in the West Australian Online. Itillustrates how perilous a distorted, self-hating attitude can be.
Charmaine Dragun, the news reporter who jumped to her death from a cliff in Sydney in 2007, had depression for 10 years. In a ruthless industry, Charmaine couldnt afford to let any chink in her armour show for fear of being overthrown by other pretty girls who had their claws out to get the job. She wanted to project an ideal image of strength and proficientcy. A press report that she judged the worst ever was highly praised as wonderful by TV executives. Even though she was actually highly capable and eloquent, she judged herself very severely. She was certain that she would eventually be firedfor being unpopular with the publicand executives. Friends couldnt convince her that in fact she was truly brilliant. She minimised the prestigeof her job by declaring it was tedious and that she was only reading words that other people had written].
Here is the unskewed reality:
Charmaine Dragun, whose charm lit up a room, was a highly intelligent, stunningand articulate TV journalist. She was popular by many and management were impressed by thequality of her work. They wanted her to continue thriving in her role for as long as possible. She gave of her best and shone at what she did. Her employers selected her in preference to her competition because of her hard work and talent. Other people envied her unique gifts and prospects. Her loved ones will miss her terribly. .
People healing from depression need time, patience, devotion and commitment. Those who suffer from depression have to replace twisted and hateful self-judgements with a deep understanding of whats true. This is not just an cognitive exercise but an embodied, holistic and innate process that can only be accomplished with the help of an experienced psychologist. To learn more, visit our Henshaw Consulting - Psychologists Perth website where you can get the help you need from an expert Clinical Psychologist Perth.
