subject: The Dot Com Wife: Seven Tips To Deal With Her [print this page] The Dot Com Wife: Seven Tips to Deal with Her
Internet has reshaped and changed our lives in many ways. Nowadays, along with general etiquette, kids have to learn netiquette during the course of interaction with other people. Internet has transformed relationships as well. Surface mail has been almost replaced by e-mail. Chatting and telephonic calls are thought of as substitutes. Matchmaking services are being provided by online dating websites and much more. Recently, I have come across quite a few cases of the Dot Com Wife.
Let me describe the Dot Com Wife. She is from the baby boomer generation or after, her hobbies include chatting, surfing(the internet), her shopping comprises of a bulk of items from amazon.com and E-bay and other shopping websites, her friends exist in chat rooms or MSN /AOL and she cooks from the recipes on desicookbook.com or some other recipe website. Young and knowledgeable about everything, and very fast with a core 2 duo processor in her mind, she is hard to find a normal looking man. When she does, the question arises, will the marriage last?
The need for this question arises from the fact that in the past few years I have come across a number of divorce or broken marriage cases due to excess use of internet. Most of the times, the problem arises because one or the other of the partner either does not share the internet interest or the level of interest varies. The problem is incurable in cases when the woman is a geek and the man is not.
Let me quote a few examples. A newly married couple split a couple of months after their marriage because the bride would be busy most of the night in the chat rooms while her husband did not share the same interest. In another case, a housewife complained that her husband is not interested in her because of his interest in love sites on the internet. The internet also seems to facilitate frivolous behavior for example it is easier for people to meet online where social taboos prevent them to meet physically.
Most of us have either observed or seen such cases in our real lives and are well aware of it all. However, the issue is how to deal with a dot com wife or a dot com husband.
1.Check credit card bills: Being internet savvy most of the times comes with a certain kind of laziness whereby the dot com wife/husband would prefer to spend on their credit card but would really appreciate if someone like their partner could drop their bills in the drop box. This would be a golden opportunity to make them dependent on you and keep a check on what they are spending on for example if it is shopping, it is good but if she shopped for a branded leather wallet that you never got, there is something to get nosy about.
2.Be involved, the best way to get someone involved in you is by sharing their interest. One of my friends dealt with this problem by actually being online all the time to chat with his girlfriend, which meant purchasing Blackberry, and monopolizing her time completely so that eventually everyone else faded away.
3.Encourage out door activities: even though the internet is attractive but the real world has much more to offer. If you see her admiring a ruby ring on E-bay, get her all hyped up in research about it and then take her out on ruby ring shopping to real stores. That will give you quality moments to share and she will eventually get used to it.
4.When giving gifts make sure you give him or her a gift they would enjoy like their favorite CDs , Wireless internet USB, latest Laptop, or some other equally techy gadget which will show them that you really care about them and will remind them of you every time they use it.
5.Social Networking Websites: Make your presence known to everyone around her. This would not only show everyone that she is leading a happily married life (stay off) but you can also add a little spice in life by harmless flirtation with colleagues and friends that she can see and sizzle over.
6.Password sharing: Trade your passwords with your wife, an excellent way to keep checks and balances.
7.Check her phone bills: Internet use is closely linked to credit card and mobile phone usage so a close watch on frequently dialed numbers
Even though over use of internet may come in between a relationship. However, its benefits cannot be ignored for example it is one of the best ways to keep in touch with your loved one 24/7, it is one of the best ways to meet people whereby you actually interact with them at their intellectual level and shared interests level and would figure out whether you would get along with them in future or not. So, controlling internet use is up to the non-geek spouse. The above mentioned tips are tried and tested and would come in handy.
