subject: The Sword and the Trowel: A Biblical Model for Men's Accountability [print this page] The Sword and the Trowel: A Biblical Model for Men's Accountability
In todays fast paced world there are temptations for men everyday. The pressures of work, the allure of the Internet, and the sexual energy of our culture all make it hard to make healthy decisions. It was no different in Pauls time. In Romans 7:15, he writes I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do. Later, Paul reminds us that the only way we can be rescued from this unmanage- ability is through Jesus Christ. If Chris- tian men are to pursue this kind of faith, they need support and encouragement. They need to be accountable. Accountability is often used by Christian men as something they need, but as I travel around the country and world, there is a lot of misunderstanding of what it means and how to achieve it.
*Learning from Nehemiah* A few years ago, I discovered that the first four chapters of the book of Nehemiah give a virtual blueprint of how to be accountable. This is the story of how Nehemiah led the Jewish people to re-build the wall of protection around the city of Jerusalem. How this was accomplished can teach us how to build a wall of protection around ourselves today. Here are some of the main principles that this biblical wisdom offers.
In chapter one, we fi nd that Nehemiah was a slave having been part of the exile of the Jews that happened when the Persians invaded and destroyed Je- rusalem. His job as cupbearer to king Artaxerxes gives him proximity to the most powerful person in the world of that time. Nehemiah learns from his brother, Hanani, that the city of Jerusalem is in a state of ruins and its gates have been de- stroyed by fi re. Instead of boldly decid- ing that he should do something about this, Nehemiah says that he sat down for days and wept (1:3). The corner- stone of accountability is not self-confidence, it is sadness and brokenness. It is from this place of humility that men know they need God. Nehemiah then prays a prayer, the fi rst part being one of confession and the second part being one of repentance (1:5-11). He knows that sin is what led to the exile and that only a repentant heart can restore what has been de- stroyed. Confession and repentance are the foundation of accountability. These reflect a willingness to do whatever it takes to follow Gods laws. In the next chapter, the king asks Nehemiah why he is so sad and Nehemiah honestly tells him of his pain about Jerusalem.
Artaxerxes then asks him what he needs. Being accountable means that men honestly state what they are feel- ing so that others can know what they need. Now, however, Nehemiah is about to make the most common mistake that I see Christian men make. While he does ask for letters of reference to the governors of the various regions along the way home, he decides to take this trip alonea 1,000 mile trip through enemy territory by himself. The king is wiser. He corrects this mistake and Ne- hemiah says the king also sent with him the army offi cers and the cavalry (2:9). Accountability is never accomplished alone. Some men might say, ;If I am strong enough in my faith, I can make it by myself. This is the heart of pride and arrogance. Others might say, I can be accountable to one other man. I have an accountability partner. This is bet- ter, but is often still defi cient. All men need warriors with them, not just one, but many men. A group of men standing together can withstand an attack. Satan and his legions can eas- ily pick off one or two men. This is why, for example, addicts of all kinds know that support groups are the only way to fi nd sobriety. At the end of chapter two, the enemies are identifi ed. Christian men should make a list of all of their major temptations in life these are their enemies. They should share them with their group so that others can help them see when they are the most vulnerable to attack. In chapter three, the work of the wall is divided up into smaller parts. It is a reminder that men should never get bogged down by the enormity of a problem, but should break it down into smaller components and work at it one brick or one day at a time. My favorite verse in this chapter is the 14. Malkijah and his family make repairs to the Dung Gate. This might seem like a lowly assignment, but the truth is that a city that doesnt have a gate out of which to get rid of its garbage or sewage (dung) will choke on its own fi lth. Men who are accountable need to get rid of anything in their lives that might be choking them. It might be por- nography, cigarettes, too much work, or worse. An accountability group will help men identify and get rid of garbage.
Chapter four begins with the en- emies taunting the Jews about the futil- ity of what they are doing (4:1-3). Satan will often tempt men with reminders of how weak they really are, as if, ;Whats the use? Accountability partners will remind them that this is a lie and that they must keep working. Now, how- ever, the enemy will directly attack the project (4:7-12). Nehemiah knows that the attack is coming and stations people at the lowest, or most vulnerable, parts of the wall.
In accountability, men should iden- tify where they are most vulnerable and ask the partners to stand with them at those times. Another common mistake that I see men make is when they think they will call one of their accountability partners when the attack comes. Believe me, at that point, it is way too late. Part of the attack is the temptation, I dont want to call you because I know what youll say and I really want to do this. The accountability principle here is men must prepare when they are strong for a time when they know they will be weak. They should make at least one call everyday to someone in their group. That way when the attack does come, they will make the call automatically because they are in the habit. Nehemiah encourages the workers to fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes (4:14). In accountability, men should know that they must fi ght and even die for the ones they love. This attitude of selfl essness will reverse an at- titude of selfi shness that always makes one vulnerable to temptation. My favorite part of the story is de- scribed next. Nehemiah divides the men into two parts, those who build and those who defend. He said, those who carried material did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked (4:17-18).
*Defending and Building Together* I love the image of a sword in one hand and a trowel in the other, building and defending in equal measures. Men must defend against the attack, but if all men do is defend, they will never build any- thing. Accountability is about reminders and encouragement to build something. It is about the good that we should do and not just the evil we should avoid. All men need a vision of Gods call- ing in their lives. What does God call them to build? Is it a healthy home, a ministry of some kind, meaningful work, or perhaps all of these? Pursuing a vision and building it energizes men. I believe that they will run and never grow weary. Accountability is the sword in one hand and the trowel in the other. It in- volves both defending and building. It is not done by yourself, but in groups of men who form a community that de- pends on God, follows Christ, and hon- ors and protects those they love. Mark R. Laaser, Ph.D., is an internationally known author and speaker. He serves as Executive Director of Faithful and True Ministries and as Director of the Institute for Healthy Sexuality of the American Association of Christian Counselors.Christian Counselor is always available to help you out
