subject: Getting Your Ex Back - Are You Sure You Really Want to Do It? [print this page] Getting Your Ex Back - Are You Sure You Really Want to Do It?
Your loved one has left you feeling sad ad lonely. Just the idea of never seeing them again, let alone never sharing a kiss together again is devastatingly painful. You want to get your ex back. I know this because we've all been there. One of the problems with losing love is that we automatically put the entire previous relationship on a pedestal and feel as if we will never love anyone that way again. The truth is though, because of the pain we are feeling we automatically put our blinders up as to why the relationship ended in the first place. Before you go through the trouble of stopping at nothing to get your ex back; ask yourself these questions to determine whether or not you truly want your ex back into your life.
Was I happy in the relationship?
Be honest with yourself and answer this question truthfully before you try to get your ex back. I know this seems like a silly question but really think about it. Were you really happy? Were your needs being met? If you are someone who needs a lot of attention and your ex is more of a reserved person, then its possible that your needs for affection were not being met. If you prefer laid-back weekends and your ex insists on jumping at the chance to attend every party you're both invited to; maybe you weren't getting enough down-time. Sometimes after a breakup we don't allow ourselves to remember that we were sometimes downright miserable sharing our life with an ex. What would be a point to try to get your ex back in situation like this.
What about them did I dislike?
Again, this is where our blinders come into play. Once a breakup is initiated it is incredibly hard to think of anything wrong with the one we love. The fact is, however, that if you truly took the time to think about you could probably come up with a list of reasons why you couldn't stand being with the other person. Did you hate the way he would speak to the wait-staff at restaurants? Did you hate the way she insisted the dogs sleep in bed with you... in between the two of you? Generally, people don't change ad if you didn't like it about them to before, chances are that will never change either.
Will I be able to trust them again?
This isn't necessarily a question for every person to ask themselves when contemplating getting an ex back. Specifically this question is for the man or woman that was both cheated on and dumped. Do you really want to get your ex back? When someone is cheated on it leaves them feeling quite unwanted and the thing they want the most is validation. Especially from the one person who betrayed their trust the most... the ex. Getting over the trust issues involved when a person cheats is a long drawn out process that can take years to get over. Is that something you feel that you can do? If not, even the slightest trust issues that poke its ugly head in your relationship, should you get your ex back, will send them running for the hills (again) the first chance they get.
