subject: Get My Ex Back – Ladies Train Your Man… [print this page] Get My Ex Back Ladies Train Your Man Get My Ex Back Ladies Train Your Man
In today's culture of easy blame, here's a variation of a novel concept, I discovered when trying to get my ex back Warning; it involves taking responsibility
I know some people have a problem with this and will do almost anything to avoid it But here's why you should be ready and willing to accept it or at least take a look at how it might work to your mutual advantage, because accepting responsibility gives you power.
Once you can accept that the relationship challenge you now face, is in whatever small way partly of your own making; (even if you were not the instigator) you will find that you control more of the power to affect the outcome.
Which brings me smartly to my pointThe responsibility I'm talking about here is the responsibility for outcomes in your life, the responsibility for how people treat you which is anything but random
We all of us teach people how to treat us
Matter of fact, you can train anyone to act how you want them to.
While trying to get my ex back some time ago, I uncovered several powerful techniques for positive reinforcement, which some may consider manipulation.
Let me start by saying, we are all maneuvering one another to some degree all the time, its part and parcel of human interaction. Parent, child, employer, employee, husband and wife, boyfriend, girlfriend - as long as the interaction is positive I see no problem.
For example, your boyfriend is away from home, he says he'll call you that night to catch up, you're excited and all evening you wait for the phone to ring, but he doesn't call - it's becoming a bit of a habit! He finally calls the next day by now you're seething; you cancelled everything and waited in right! How do you react?
What normally happens is the guy gets an ear full; you let him know exactly what you think. Even if you manage to keep it in, you give it off in your tone. Now, barring major accidents, it's totally his fault, agreed! But from here on in, how you deal with the situation (and how he's likely to respond) is somewhat your responsibility. Quick fix or long-term stability, it's your call.
What I discovered while trying to get my ex back was that to build better relationships, dig a little deeper. Study what really motivates people, and use it for mutual benefit. What happens usually goes something like this he eventually calls and when he does, what does he get in return? Well it's probably not positive, right! If the pattern is repeated over a period of time - he says he's going to call but doesn't, and when he does the outcome is negative (pain!) - This is negative reinforcement, in other words you're inadvertently training him to do exactly what you don't want him to do.
Obviously if he's calling two days late, you're not going to be happy with him. So how can you get the situation to change without accepting the behavior or nagging him, which by the way is definitely not going to work!
Here's a secret about men
More than a pretty face or tiny waist, what men really want is to be ADMIRED!
We're not going to come right out and say it, but that's' what we really want. We want to be admired; we don't want nagging, even if we're wrong, nagging equal's pain. Pain is an away from motivator.
Countless women think their man will run off and have an affair simply because of some physical attribute she lacks; when often times the basic truth is those men are simply craving that feeling of admiration.
Ladies if your man doesn't feel admired at home, he simply becomes an easier target for any woman who can make him feel admired and respected, even superficially.
Take note, this is powerful stuff. When a woman makes her man feel admired she protects him with anti stray, because most men would do almost anything to keep her admiration. What I found to be true whilst trying to get my ex back is, that people will go to extraordinary lengths to live up to the image they think you hold of them in your mind, and this is especially true of men.
When we do the little things right (your right!) you compliment us and appreciate us, and you do this to train us on the small stuff - like calling you!
Your man calls you on time, you're positive, you let him know how you respect that he called you around 8, just as he said he would and how you admire that he's a man of his word, and how this is one of the many things you really love about him...
Creating for him a positive image of how you see him gives him something explicit to live up to, and as simplistic as this may sound it works.
Even more powerful; let him overhear you telling someone else how; He's a man of his word
Positive reinforcement is amazingly simple but it really works find out more of the fascinating techniques I used while trying to get my ex back at the link below
