subject: Why on Earth Should You Get Your Ex Back? [print this page] Why on Earth Should You Get Your Ex Back?
Let us admit it - to get your ex back may not be as easy as some people make it out to be. Things get particularly tough when there are very solid reasons for the break up, like infidelity, etc or when there are more compelling reasons for a partner to walk out. Then the question of intentions also plays a major role in the patch up. You may be eager to get your ex back, but how strong is the intention on the other side? However much you may want to get your ex back, remember things cannot work out if efforts are one-sided. Reconciliation is possible in such cases but may be only for a short time. Every relationship works on a strategic balance struck between the two partners. Once the balance is disrupted, the relationship falls apart like a pack of cards. Be that as it may, there is still light at the end of the tunnel, if you work out some intelligent strategies to get your ex back, even when hopes are dim:
1. Remember the saying that 'when the going gets tough, the tough gets going'? Nothing can be truer than this, when you are facing a split. The first favor you can do to yourself is to remain calm and strong. The sky has not fallen yet, simply because your ex has left you. If you show signs of desperation, you are deliberately spoiling the chances to get your ex back. People hate people who cling on and your ex in particular is in no mood for reconciliation just after a split up. This might entail taking some harsh decisions or being tough on yourself, but if you want to get your ex back, there is no other option but to show the world that you are perfectly comfortable and ready to move on.
2. Follow the No Contact strategy. You might wonder how you are ever going to get your ex back, if you do the vanishing trick. But, this is a proven way to trigger the interest of your ex and revive his or her desire to be with you once more. Never forget that your ex too is going through difficult times - no matter whether he is alone or with someone new. You are bound to be continuously in his or her mind. So when you do the disappearing act, do not answer calls, respond to messages or even return mails or gifts - this sets your ex on fire. This sudden gap in communication also provides both of you enough time to re-think about the relationship and may improve chances to get your ex back.
3. As mentioned earlier, the entire process to get your ex back takes a toll on the mind of both the individuals concerned. So be prepared to take a mental bashing, be ready to admit your flaws and never pose any threat or intimidate your ex. These can ruin your chances to get your ex back permanently. In case your ex decides to meet or talk to you - agree by all means. But during the meeting, keep your sarcasm and anger to yourself. Do not cry, plead, blame or say rude things to your ex, even when there is a volcano waiting to erupt in your mind. Take all that your ex has to say or complain about in your stride, if you want to get your ex back.
4. While you mope, moan and fret after the breakup, it is also the time to do some introspection. You might find this difficult at the beginning, but consciously try to get out of the house, meet people (company of children has a great therapeutic value) and catch up with old friends, who you had ignored all this time. Believe it or not, the world is a lovely place to live in, provided you know how. In fact, this 'getting way from it all' is also helpful when you do succeed to get your ex back as it gives you fresh inputs to strike up a conversation! Remember, when you cry, you cry alone, you smile, and the world smiles with you.
5. Let it be reiterated that a breakup is not the end of the world. Yes, your ex was a unique person - but then, so are you! Think of it this way - your tears are as precious as you are - you might as well retain them for a better and worthier cause. Look inside and you would be surprised to find the kind of talents you have, which incidentally could have been factors that attracted your ex. Nurture those talents further and the positive changes that you bring upon yourself, would be welcome not just by your ex when you get your ex back, but by others as well.
