subject: The Husband Store [print this page] Have you heard the joke about the husband store? It goes like this-the husband store exists of four levels. Those seeking a husband can go to it and select their ideal partner.
The males are there of their own free will; they want to be chosen as husbands. There are no charges for selecting one of the males in the husband store. In using the store there is just one rule. Everyone entering it proceeds upwards level by level from the ground floor once they leave a particular floor they may not choose one of the men on that floor only one of those from the floors above.
In other words having rejected the available males on level one the husband seeker on reaching level two cannot change her mind and decide to choose one of them.
A husband seeker enters the building and sees a notice on the first level.It says "the men on this level are not bad looking, earn 20,000 per year, can tolerate kids and will do housework occasionally". The husband seeker proceeds to the next level.
Here the notice reads, " the men on this level are physically attractive, they earn 35,000 per year, quite like kids and will make the effort to do housework about twice a week.
She proceeds on to level three. Here she sees a notice proclaiming" the men on this level are very attractive, they earn 50,000 a year, love kids and will happily do their share of housework. Our husband seeker proceeds on to the next level and finds it empty.
A divorced male at my speakers group told this joke. He probably felt that there was no pleasing women when it came to choosing husbands. Interestingly as he told the joke I imagined myself walking through the husband store. I decided to stop at level three.
The obvious point of the joke was that women are unrealistic when it comes to choosing life partners. I don't believe that most of us are.
The man that I totally love and share my life with is untidy. He leaves piles of newspapers on the kitchen table and piles of socks in the bedroom. He is kind, loving and thoughtful to name just three of his many good qualities.
I'll live with the piles of newspapers and socks. My point is this it's important to know what small imperfections we are prepared to live with in a life partner and what serious faults we simply won't tolerate.
I've certainly met women who confuse the two. For example my client Rachel who complained that her boyfriend of a few weeks did not dress as she would like when they went on dates. In particular she complained about him having holes in his socks. She then went on to say that he was unwilling to take any responsibility for contraception although pregnancy at this stage in their relationship would have been a disaster.
My friend Lisa also confused trivial flaws with serious ones when it came to boyfriends. She complained that her boyfriend of a few months often wanted to stop for tea when they went out for a day trip or long walk. He was considerably older than Lisa who was at the time in her early thirties. This could explain why he felt the need to sit down more frequently or he may have just had different ideas about how to enjoy himself on a day out. She then went on to say that she "thought that he was seeing other women behind her back although she treated the relationship as an exclusive one"
These two women were clearly confusing trivial differences which could be discussed and resolved or even accommodated with totally unacceptable attitudes and behaviour. To have happy relationships we need to know the difference.
