subject: What it did For Me; Original Date 4/4/2009 [print this page] What it did For Me; Original Date 4/4/2009
When I say "it", I speak of none other than pot, grass, Buddha, ganja, etc, etc The one and the same grass I would savor in my garage for hours on end, as I read psychological text after text, the very same texts that have influenced me from those moments on to this very day. That background in psychology eventually grew to become my most prized and enjoyed passion, a guiding force for my life. I was allowed to step outside of myself, to be a human being rather then the sum of the human experiences that have shaped me. My high state helped shape a ground work for the perception that I have been attempting to hone since I first gathered an interest in psychology. It took my short term memory and shredded it, severing the connection of my past to the present. Simply because "it has been done before" lost the influence it had over my actions, causing me to question everything over again. This distance between me and my past greatly aided my interpretation of the psychological, making my observations relatively unbiased. By putting distance between myself and my past preconceptions, I could apply a new lens of perception to the materials I encountered, seeing something "as it is" over what my experiences on the subject have led me to see. My grasp of the abstract especially benefited from this, propelling me further into the field that has gradually become my life. My past experiences were limited by my age, causing limited interpretations to arise if I were to only use that which I know as a reference. I was able to gain a fresh view of concepts, by temporarily cleaning the past off of my lens of perception. This free state of perception was one that would normally arise out of intense introspection, productive meditation, or simply through the accumulated wisdom that comes with the natural progression through life.
The wisdom of a long life is something I did not have at the time, nor believed I would achieve. While introspection and meditation may often go hand in hand, I was able to take a short cut. Commitments I have made long ago, in the certainty of youth, were put into question, and inevitably re-evaluated based upon the knowledge I have accumulated after the institution of those commitments. How I walked, how I breathed, what is morality? All the standards I have established through ought my life were put into question, allowing me the chance to apply the present to past a decision. This is my own definition of growth.
While most people only grow reactively; they change their established lifestyle only when it is confronted by reality and found lacking. But by questioning aspects of my lifestyle regardless of whether or not they are confronted, I was able to stimulate growth. For the real confrontation arose solely through me being high and wishing to maintain my personal growth. This change in my perception, this ability to clear past bias from the lens of my perception and see all routines in my life, rather then only being able to focus on those that are malfunctioning was what made my life more fulfilling, granting me that famed depth of personal awareness that pot is known for., if only for several life changing hours. But audiences beware, for in the wrong hands this constant questioning can cause harm as well as personal growth. This would hardly be a balanced article without a hint of danger after all. For the danger of becoming aware of the routines in life, the direction in which you are headed, and the smallest parts of the lifetime spectrum, is that you may change aspects of your life that are already operating at optimal levels. For if you are already operating within your life in a comfortable fashion, unable to visualize any improvements, you may easily change something that does not need to be changed, causing anxiety were there was none.
