subject: Can You Make A Long Distance Relationship Work [print this page] Can You Make A Long Distance Relationship Work
You have no doubt all heard the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." That may be true, but it does not exactly make for an easy relationship. With the internet and global travel have made the world a much smaller place. Due to the nature of their work a lot of people are forced to spend long periods away from loved ones. With the internet and chat rooms and online dating sites, it is now possible to find that special someone on the other side of the world. You could even find your soul mateliving in a different country. All this is well and good but how do you keep a relationship alive when you both have to spend vast chunks of time apart? So how can you make your long distance relationship work?
In order to make a long distance relationship work, youhave to establish ground rules that you both have to be able to keep. Unless you have some kind of structure to the relationship then chances are that at best it will only last a few months. It does not have to bea greatcomplicated contract,all you need are the basics, you agree not to date others, you keep in touch on a daily basis, you meet as regularly as you can, say at least once a month. All pretty basic stuff but if does confirm your commitment to each other. You have to work all this out with each other because if you do not, then you are likely to fall prey to insecurity and suspicion which will ultimately poison and end your relationship.
A long distance relationship requires a whole lot more in the way of communication than a stay at home one does. When you live together or live in the same area as each other, you have your partners physical presence to give strength and security to the relationship. When your relationship is over a great distance then all you haveis your partners voice. If you do not communicate with each other, then how will you know what your partner is feeling? Failure to communicate suggests that you have no interest in the relationship, now this may be anything but the case, but unless you let them know, how are they going to know? You do not have to spend hours on the phone day after day. Whilst it is good to talk, a text or an email saying that you were thinking about them, or telling them some simple piece of trivia says that you care and that you are keeping them in your life. If you really want to show that you can put some effort into communicating, how about writing a letter. Letters make a far greater personal statement and shows your love much more because it is your hand writing which is conveying your thoughts. Personally, I think that letters are so much nicer than emails or texts, they might take a bit longer than say an email to arrive, but they tend to be worth holding onto, whereas a text or email...
A long distance relationship requires a great deal of trust. If you want your partner to trust you then you have to be able to trust them. Do not let insecurity tie your relationship up in knots, especially as most of the time it is not warranted. Given that long distance relationships makes for such fertile ground for insecurity you have to keep reassuring your partner about the way that you feel. If you want to make a long distance relationship work you have to keep on reassuring your partner, each reassurance will strengthen the relationship, but keep at it, if you stop doing so then that assurance will start to evaporate.
Even with the distance between you, you can still go on dates together, after a fashion. Go to the same film or whatever matches or is vaguely similar on the same day. And then armed with a good bottle of wine and a big box of chocolates (or whatever takes your fancy), try and have the same things if you can, then get on the phone and spend the rest of the night talking about what you saw.
Yo need to makesure that you try and meet up at least once a month, any less and the ties that bind youwill start to unravel. Obviously if you have to cancel a visit then make very sure that the reason is a good one, something along the lines of hospitalisation would probably just be acceptable. Make sure that you know when they are coming or when you are arriving, can you imaging turning up only to find out that they are not in.
Just because you have a long distance relationship it does not mean that you have to stop socialising with you friends. If anything, if you want to make a long distance relationship work then socialising with your friends is not just a good idea, it is vital! You need to consider that although you have your long distance relationship you still spend most of your time by yourself, isolating yourself from society is not healthy and will damage your social skills. We are a social species and if you do not socialise there is every chance that you will struggle with the emotional loneliness of being separated from your partner.
When you visit each other, try not to get carried away by the magic of the moment only to find that the reality is a bit of a let down. Talk about your expectations before you arrive so that you can fix in your mind what to expect, with that in mind you can let the anticipation build. Having a long term relationship is not an easy thing that you have embarked upon but I really hope that it works out for you.
