subject: Some Quick Read - Self Confidence Help [print this page] In the e-book Tipping the balance in the right direction I talk about negative thinking traps and some alternative ways of thinking.
I have noticed over the years that confident people are more balanced people. They are self assured and think in a certain way. They are sure about their thinking processes and I think that is what makes them balanced.
Negative thinking traps are directly related to our confidence levels, they can give us self doubt which is the opposite of what we want.
Here are some alternate ways of thinking which provide some easy to follow self confidence help.
Negative thinking traps and some ways out!
All-or-Nothing Thinking
The trap: You see things only in extremes and dont see any middle ground. You conclude something or someone as an extreme, such as good or bad, wonderful or horrible.
The trap here is that you see things in terms of black and white (This always happens or This will never happen), but life is seldom so absolute there are always infinite shades of grey.
Example: If Im not a total success, then Im a horrible failure.
Escape route: Recognize that most things exist in degrees. Rate situations on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being I like that and 10 being I really dont like this situation. This will help you rationalise the way you feel and help you gain better emotional balance.
There will, of course, be lots of times where an experience or situation will not bother you either way. Find your balance, thats what this is all about.
Otherwise, you will keep going from happy to sad over and over again. Imagine a car engine going from tick over to flat out & having no in between. It is now way to operate and will wear you out.
It is of course ok to be neither happy nor sad, but just content.
Mind Reading
The Trap: You jump to a conclusion on the basis of what you assume you know what someone else is thinking. This is often because that is what you are thinking. This is so common.
Example: He thinks that Im a slow learner. (You might think that you are.)
Escape Route: Realize that you can never truly know what another person is thinking. Consider other interpretations of the situation or of another persons actions.
The only definite way to know what another is thinking is to ask the person directly, Do you think I am a slow learner? Asking others what they think about something is a great way to clarify situations and fully understand
what is actually taking place.
This new way of gently questioning people to clarify situations will bring with it a feeling of personal interaction. Instead of you making judgements about others you will be finding out more about them and building relationships.
Building relationships are crucial to becoming more confident, as we learn best by interaction with others.
For more information about self confidence help and other positive habit building techniques check out my e-book Tipping the balance in the right direction.
