subject: Just How Bad Is Your Spouse? [print this page] The choice of getting a divorce is a serious matter. A divorce has an affect on all the members in the family not only those getting the divorce. Even though there isn't a perfect marriage, it is certain, that some marriages are better than others.
This decision is usually more difficult if the person you are thinking of parting ways with, is an okay person. If your husband or wife has habits that aren't good, like alcohol and drug problems, this choice is simpler. In addition, if you've been abused by your husband or wife, or he or she has a shady character that results in them committing crimes, then the choice is a lot simpler. For this type of scenario, it is best to obtain a divorce without a lot of dwelling on it.
The hardest choice is when your mate is a nice person. Maybe you can't identify specific problems with your spouse but you still find them irritating. Thus, the choice is hardest to make when you think that your partner is a good person. If the only reason why you want to leave your spouse, is because you find them annoying, or that they just don't do it for you anymore, then you should think again.
Living with someone is always difficult, because everyone has their own particularities; there is no such thing as a 'perfect human being'. There are good times and bad times in every marriage. People expect their spouse to entertain them and smell good all the time, to be superhuman. This is not a realistic option.
Divorce should be a last resort, only if your marriage and spouse is horrible. You will not find anyone better, you need to lower your expectations and be grateful that there is another person willing to listen to you, and not leave you, because you are probably annoying too. Focus on what you like about your spouse, not what irritates you.
If you get divorced, you might regret it for the rest of your life. Perhaps you won't ever find somebody else and you'll be alone the rest of your life. It's preferable to have a spouse when you're dying, even if they can be irritating. Keep in mind the old saying about "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush".
Also, if your mate is a good person, you will have to deal with the guilt of hurting their feelings, or more than this, you will have to deal with feeling sorry because nobody else wants to marry you. The grass is not always greener on the other side, so its always easier to not get divorced. Occasionally the grass is older and already dry.
