subject: Get a Commitment – 3 Don'ts [print this page] Get a Commitment 3 Don'ts Get a Commitment 3 Don'ts
Can you get a commitment from the guy that you have been seeing? Have you met someone that you really like, but you're not sure where it's going or how he feels? If you've been dating for a while but haven't had the talk about being exclusive, how do you go from dating to a relationship? If you want to take that big step between seeing each other and being together, it can be scary. There are a few things you can avoid if you want to get a commitment.
#1 Don't assume that he feels the same way.
No matter how hard you have fallen, you can't make assumptions about how he feels. Even if you want him to fall for you, wishful thinking will not get you anywhere. Unless he says something, or you both have the big talk, you will set yourself up for heartbreak by believing what you want to believe.
Your guy might just be too shy or reserved to say how he feels, but you will never really know unless you talk about it. Make sure that he is giving you the proper attention and has mentioned a future with you. If he has asked you how you feel, that's the sign you need.
#2 Don't allow yourself to be taken for granted.
What you need to do to get a commitment is for both you and your partner to take all of the steps together. If he simply assumes that you will be there for him, and provide for all his needs, then that is not a real relationship. You might have jumped ahead too fast if you are doing enough for him to take you for granted.
If this is the case, take a step back. Until you have definitely both talked about being exclusive, then you should simply behave as you would on a date with a new person. Don't do too much. Just enjoy his company, but avoid making it a habit to take care of him.
#3 Don't act like a girlfriend until he calls you his girlfriend.
This point is related to the second one, but is worth mentioning separately. If you are tempted to start behaving as though you were part of a settled couple, you might be making a big mistake. Recognize that you can't make someone feel the way you want them to feel. And you can't get a commitment by acting like you already have one.
At least, you can't get a relationship with a solid foundation that way. You might fall into a relationship by default, but that won't set the basis of open communication that good relationships require. So don't make assumptions, don't get taken for granted, and don't act like a girlfriend, but do be open and honest if you want to get a commitment.
