subject: Letting Go of My Proverbial ‘Feather' [print this page] Letting Go of My Proverbial Feather' Letting Go of My Proverbial Feather'
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This walk with God has brought about a lot of epiphanies and this one is probably the most revealingat least to me. I've been taking the time to reflect on my past and the commonalities that have lead to the failure of my relationships. I notice that I tend to cling to men like a proverbial feather. Without a man, I feellost. I need to let go of this feather and learn to fly alone. I realize now that all I need is God. And once I heal from the wounds of having this attitude, I can truly enjoy a healthy relationship.
One of my friends I explained this to, later asked me what I meant by feather', so let me clarify for those of you who may not understand. Do you remember the story of Dumbo? The childhood story about an elephant with big ears who could fly? Well, he didn't believe he could at first until he given a magical feather. With the feather firmly in his snout he flew effortlessly through the air; but without it, he plummeted to the ground. Only until he was told that the feather had no power was he able to let go of his dependence on that feather and fly all by himself. Well, men have been my feather. If I have a man, I have worth. I have value. I am beautiful. I am not alone. I have someone to take care of me, and someone I can take care of. I am not alone. (Yes. I know I repeated that.) No problem was too big, I could handle it. I sacrificed whatever I had to. I would do anything for love anything to hold onto that feather. Boy, did that attitude get me in some hot water. And boydid it leave deep wounds in my heart, and in my spirit. That's why I need God. A therapist may be able to cure a heartache, but I need moreso much more.
My spiritual advisor explained to me last Wednesday how we can create spiritual ties with someone if we get too close for too long. And I have definitely done that. I create such a wonderland in my mind and I try to combat every negative feeling yet when reality does kicks in, it's like getting hammered in the head with a ball bat that has hundreds of rusty nails sticking out of it. {Read full story here}
