subject: You Are Not Going to Win Your Ex by Stalking Them [print this page] You Are Not Going to Win Your Ex by Stalking Them
After breaking up with someone you love very much, it is hard to not know what they are doing, thinking, or who they are with. When trying to win your ex back you should remember that by stalking them, it is only going to push them father away. I believe at one point and time all of us are responsible for being a little bit of a stalker to our ex's.
How can we not be when everyday of our lives for days, months, and years has been consumed by the one we love the most, and suddenly they drop off the face of the planet. In order to get your ex back, you ultimately have to allow space and time for the person to decide what they really want, no matter how difficult and painful it is.
We all at one point want to know whom our ex's are with. With the help of MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter this makes the obsession even worse because of how easily information can be accessed. I have found myself, and many others up at night at 2 a.m. with the computer starring right at us.
The question is, to stalk or not to stalk? During a breakup you are irrational and emotional, so very little logic is put in to the executive decisions that you make. By stalking your ex, you not only appear desperate, creepy, and obsessive, but if they see what you are doing, you have no chance of winning your ex back. This compulsion only will make you more miserable because a lot of the information you will find, you are not ready to truly face.
Not only have I seen this in others, but also I am also guilty of this myself. One week after me and my ex broke up; I thought we would get back together. When he failed to call, the stalking began. I found three other girls he was dating, and what he was doing all those nights that I was home alone depressed and angry. By doing this, you are only adding fuel to an already lit fire. The real key to winning your ex back, is not obsessing over what they are doing, but by allowing space for each other to come to terms with what they really want. Instead of stalking the people your ex is dating, start dating again yourself, and if anything they will realize what they miss about you, and how no one else can fill that empty space.
