subject: To Save Your Marriage, Compromise is the Key Word [print this page] To Save Your Marriage, Compromise is the Key Word
For people who remain steadfast in their decisions and actions in life, this may sound contrary to reason, but ask anyone who has survived this institution called marriage, and they would readily agree that without making compromises all the way, it is nearly impossible to save your marriage. Perhaps there are a few important human factors involved in this:
- People change over time and so do their priorities. Your spouse is no exception to this rule. Therefore to save your marriage either you go along the tide or face opposition.
- It is natural for people to re-organize and re-set their life's schedules. In order to save your marriage, it is better you 'adjust' to the changing needs of your spouse.
- There is some truth in the saying that 'normal is boring'. If your marriage involves only the 'expected', chances are that sooner than later your relationship would turn boring. To save your marriage, compromise to the changing home environment every now and then.
- No matter what age you marry, it is important to appreciate that both of you have you own style of upbringing, values and beliefs. Both of you have experienced life in your own perspective till you got married. The various experiences have shaped your personality as well as that of your spouse. It is impossible for both of you to think and do alike in all matters. Respect each other's views and perhaps even compromise wherever necessary to retain domestic and mental peace and equilibrium to save your marriage.
Of course, there are several other factors involved in a close relationship like marriage, where compromise remains the keyword to keep the relationship going smoothly. It can get strenuous on the nerves at times and the reason why nearly 90% marriages fail in this country is because most people are not willing to 'compromise' on aspects which are important to the marriage. The concept of compromise is looked down upon by many and misconstrued as something that has undertones of subservience.
Truly speaking, when you compromise to save your marriage, you are not giving up your self or living life under any autocratic rule. On the contrary, it reflects the concept of 'give and take' one of the important cornerstones to save your marriage. What is the true significance of making compromises in a marriage in order to save it?
- Making your priorities match that of your spouse's as closely as possible.
- Take interest in what is currently making your spouse tick - it could be learning about marine life to golf to sudden interest in tattoos. Even if the subject completely puts you off, to save your marriage, take as much interest as possible in the new fad which tickles your spouse.
- Respect the choices made by your spouse. This could be from simple gestures like agreeing to the food that your spouse orders in a restaurant to compromising with his or her friends.
- If you think you have to intervene in the life's choices that your spouse has made, communicate politely but firmly. Explain the consequences of such choices rather than reprimanding or rebuking your spouse.
It may sound weird that to save your marriage, you have to compromise on several small as well as big areas, but do not take it as great sacrifices that you are making to save your marriage. Just ensure that the compromises originate from both sides and it does not turn into a one-sided game. These are perfectly natural in a marriage scenario.
