subject: 10 Things to Avoid to While Trying to Get Back Your Ex! [print this page] 10 Things to Avoid to While Trying to Get Back Your Ex!
The normal tendency immediately after a break up is to plead, cajole, cry or simply get angry or abusive at each other. Such situations usually occur within 72 hours of the walk out. A person decides to leave when he/she feels hopeless about continuing the relationship and takes a decisive action. You are left in a vacuum so to speak. You feel the end of the world is here and there is nothing you can do to help the situation.
If you are seriously contemplating to get your ex back, try to avoid the 10 common mistakes that are given below:
1. Do not refer to your ex by name or try to make any contact. Never use violence or abusive words as words once uttered and any act of violence are like arrows - they can never be retrieved. Try to stay as calm as possible and simply press the 'disconnect' button.
2. Stop promising that you would change whatever your ex did not like and he or she would never face any problem with you again. Words like these leave no impact with your ex.
3. Right when the separation happens both of you are in a state of mind which is more irrational and emotional than being logical or sensible, not to speak of the bitterness that exists between the two of you. At this point in time, an emotional commitment will fall on deaf ears.
4. Never plead with your ex to get back. This results only in loss of self respect and esteem. If you have indeed done anything wrong, apologize, show your sincerity of purpose and sensitivity to the issues bothering your ex. But never plead as this appears to your ex, as a sure sign of weakness or hopelessness and may arouse pity, another dangerous emotion in a relationship.
5. Admit the fact that your ex has decided to leave for reasons some or all of which are known to you, and respects the decision. Since love follows no logic, expressing your undying emotions, after the decision has been taken, would make no sense at all.
6. Never make your ex feel guilty of abandoning you. This action may evoke some temporary sensibility but cannot stay for too long. Do not forget that even when your ex is guilty of a wrong-doing, the person is fully aware of it and trying to come of it also.
7. Putting up a glum face, crying or increasing alcohol consumption would never convince your ex regarding your inner feelings, who is likely to think of them as being overtly dramatic or an innovative way of blackmailing the person.
8. Wooing your ex simply to get back, using age-old charms like sending her bouquets, chocolates or any other gift would not result in any positive action. At the stage where she is in, she would think them as acts of manipulation or masking your follies.
9. Though you might be very inclined to discuss the mater with friends and family of your ex, never try to get their counseling or help for your ex to get back. If ultimately your ex decides to come back, the urge has to come from within and the compulsion from love.
10. Finally no amount of mental or emotional pressure or blackmailing would help you to get your ex back. Reality is that the more you precipitate the issue, the further you manage to push out your ex.
Anyone who has suffered separation is likely to have made some or all of these mistakes to get back the person who meant so much to their lives. Though tough, if you are simply unable to get your ex back, it is better to think positively about life once again and move on. But is is absolutely possible to successfully reunite with your ex. You just have to know how to do it.
