subject: Getting Your Ex Back - Try to Be in Control of the Situation When Attempting to Get Your Ex Back [print this page] Getting Your Ex Back - Try to Be in Control of the Situation When Attempting to Get Your Ex Back
Do you want to get your ex back? Most people who have been subjected to a painful situation like a break up with lover or spouse, develop a 'resigning' attitude. Some turn philosophical, some blame it on fate and some others go through severe bouts of depression and end up having low self esteem, etc.
What is happening here is that all such people are no longer in control of the situation - an important asset when you want to get your ex back. Remember your ex is continuously trying to catch you on the wrong foot as this can justify her/his own actions.
The more you lose control of yourself and the situation he/she gets an upper hand to mentally torture you further.
What are the signs and symptoms to show that you are in control? Consider these:
Are you trying to make your ex jealous? Because if you do, you appear weak. You are displaying the most ordinary and commonplace emotion that humans have felt for millions of years.
Whose territory are you trying to re-conquer anyway? However much strength your ex or the current lover may display, remember both of them are standing on unsure grounds. On the contrary, if you show mental stamina, patience and perseverance you can go up several rungs in the ladder of his/her opinion about you. Reclaiming lost territory can be an exciting and challenging pursuit, but retaining it might be a problem especially if it is forced through power games. Appear relaxed though internally you might be thinking of the next move. Your composure itself shows that you are in control of the situation.
Move on. Instead of crying over spilled milk, it is time to explore new personalities, make new friends, travel, etc. In other words, show the world, as well as your ex, that you are happy with the way things have turned out.
Even if you spend several lonely hours crying or reminiscing, you do not have to express or show such feelings to your ex. This further alienates your ex from you. But if you make them run you are in control and have better chances of getting back your ex. Remember everyone loves the 'chase' in any relationship. Or else it gets boring.
Play 'hard to get'. Ignore all attempts made by your ex to re-establish contacts, avoid meeting him/her in person, do not reply to phone calls, e mails or mobile messages. Even if he/she starts sending you 'miss you' notes, gifts or flowers, ignore them for a while. If the intention of getting back is strong enough, they come back eventually.
The whole idea of managing a break up is to remain in control of the situation. The more you are in command, the more chances you have to play the game the way you want it to be played. The more chances to get your ex back.
