subject: Did You Have A Bad Day? [print this page] Did you have a bad day recently? Maybe even today? Maybe it was something on the news, something at work, the weather, etc. etc. We all have bad days to different degrees. Our goal is to have much less of them.
How do you do that? Well, first, you need to turn off the TV, the radio. I don't care what political party you are, listening to the news is not healthy, period. I used to love talk radio and I still sneak it but again I don't believe it is healthy in most cases. You need to filter and manage what goes into your brain. That also includes self talk.
Self talk. Before you click away, I'm not talking about positive thinking, etc. It could include that but self talk is more to do with what you focus on, what are you saying to yourself, what references are you putting in front of your mind's eye.
I believe that you need to focus on what is working. Anyone can point out what is not working at school, work, at home, in relationships, in the government, etc. That stuff can be facts. You're also digging yourself a mental hole that you'll have to climb out of....why not focus on what is working? Focus on things you're doing that seem to be improving the situation. Things your boss, your spouse, your friends are doing that make you feel better, help you, etc. Ask yourself, what about this situation is working for me?
Similar to that, you will probably do better to focus on what you want. In other words so many people know what they don't like or want but then they don't know what they want. Perhaps someone doesn't want to work at their present job. OK, so now what? What does that person want to do instead. It is sort of like presenting a solution with a complaint. If you don't like something, then provide a solution to fix it.
Also, when you're having a bad day, I believe that you need to know the big WHY? Why are you doing "it"? Why are you at that job? Why are you married to that person? Why? If you revisit your core values or beliefs and figure that out, it is a lot easier to put it all into perspective and keep moving ahead.
You're having a tough day at work. You want to give up on that project. Your spouse is making something difficult. Ask: Why are you at that job? Why are you committed to that project? Why do you love your spouse and why did you first fall in love?
Similarly, what are your reasons? When you ask why you're in a job, you will also want to review your reasons; "I want to earn money so I can take my family away often for long weekends to different, interesting places we all enjoy, where we can learn, exercise a little and be together." Maybe your reason is completely different. The point is find out the reason.
Suddenly, when you start thinking about what's working, why you're doing it, and throw in one more great thought - What am I grateful for? Really dig down on this one - don't just say "I'm grateful for my kids." Sure that's true but go deeper - "I'm grateful for my two daughters - they make me laugh, they respect me, we share good times together, they are polite and hard working at school, they are sincere, I love to travel with them, their excitement and innocence keep me centered, etc."
Exercise. I don't care what your weight is, exercise will always improve your mood. For me, I find it hard to get started. I'd rather sit and read, work, go on the computer, etc. However, once I'm moving, I really enjoy it.
Good days come more often when you're passionate about what you're doing. Good days come when you put yourself out there and give it all that you've got. But you'll still get a little pushback for all kinds of reasons. Moving ahead and learning from it all is part of the process. If we keep focusing on the end result we want instead of the daily grind, the daily process, we may even begin to enjoy the process.
