subject: How To Save Your Marriage [print this page] How To Save Your Marriage How To Save Your Marriage
In many states, all a husband or wife has to do to end the relationship is state to the court that there are "irreconcilable differences" and the court will grant the divorce. But, in any marriage, there should be irreconcilable differences. The best way to save marriage is to embrace the conflict that is inherent in a close partnership between two people.
We often think of divorcing couples as the ones who screamed at each other all of the time. But if these couples can convey their needs through elevated voices, they are actually doing better than the couple that avoids all conflict at the cost of expressing their needs and beliefs.
It is these silent couples who must to save marriage through embracing conflict.
While no one is suggesting that emotional and verbal abuse is a good thing for a relationship, couples who don't acknowledge that there are problems and differences are actually more likely to split up according to Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who runs the Love Lab.
So, if you want to save a marriage, you need to learn how to communicate and express your differences. Here are some tips for communication in marriage:
First, stop judging. Express what needs you have and listen to your spouse's needs. But,don'tt be quick to judge or criticize.
Second, be honest. One of the biggest problems forfolkse whodo nott like conflict is that they can't be honest about what they want and need. When you start to express honest opinions about things, you will begin to save marriage.
Third, get inside his or her world. As couples begin to drift apart, they start to live in separate worlds. When you make anattemptt to get inside his or her world, you may just save the marriage.
Marriage is hard work. But, if it is worth it to you to save marriage, you will do the work. That means more communication, and yes, more conflict.
