subject: Regaining Your Power [print this page] Some people thrive in arguments; they very easily get their point across and come out of it feeling victorious. Im usually the person on the other side of the argument that ends up feeling like all I managed to get out of my mouth was the words uh and um.
I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach of utter panic when Im confronted by someone. My hands get sweaty, mouth becomes dry and suddenly wish that I had the ability to disappear in thin air where is Harry Potters invisibility cloak when you need it right?
I think it was the worst with certain members of my family. When they would confront me, I felt so intimidated and bulldozed that even if I knew exactly what I wanted to say going in to the argument it ended up coming out all wrong. If I had the strength, I would have lashed out and defended myself and my feelings whole heartedly against them. Instead, over time feeling like little pieces of my self worth were being plucked off until the point where my self esteem was sometimes non existent.
It was a very frustrating sensation, because as soon as the argument was over, and I went to my separate corner all the words and feelings I wanted to get across before came rushing back to mewhy couldnt I have said that when it counted?
However, everyone has a boiling point.
I was taught by someone that I have a voice, and am entitled to my feelings. I made a promise to myself to regain the power in my life and make my relationships equal again. I started writing out my feelings and what I wanted to say prior to an inevitable argument and practiced it out loud (usually in the shower). I dont care how stupid I look reading off a piece of paper to someone, if it means that I get what I want to say across clearly and am understood then its worthwhile.
The change wasnt over night, I still wouldnt say Im a totally different person, but I definitely feel confidence in myself and stand my ground during an argument, something that never happened before.
It is a great feeling to walk away from an argument from someone feeling like youre equals and that both of youre concerns were heard, understood and hopefully resolved.
Maybe I wont need that invisibility cloak after all.
