subject: The Psychology of Getting Your Ex Back! [print this page] The Psychology of Getting Your Ex Back! The Psychology of Getting Your Ex Back!
The breakup of a happy relationship has always been one of the most distressing occurrences for almost anyone. This is because humans are relational beings and draw their self-esteem from healthy relationships. There are many reasons why relationships go sour and this is not the object of this article. There are some breakups that are so traumatic that both parties are better off without each other. Then there are those who breakup because of something that was not necessarily traumatic and one or both parties would like to reconcile. Maybe you are one such person and you have undergone a break up which has left you in a state of hopelessness. There are many places you may get advice, but it sure is refreshing to know that it is possible to get your ex back. But there is a psychology involved behind it. Let us see.
Look like you are making it When a relationship goes sour, there is usually one party that feels jilted and there is the one who essentially walked away. The jilted party is usually the one who bears the brunt of the fallout-loneliness, anger, sadness, withdrawal symptoms, loss of appetite and a general feeling of hopelessness. This is because of the degree of emotional investment made in the relationship. All these feelings can reflect in one's demeanor and general appearance to where observers can detect something wrong. When attempting to get your ex back, you should not succumb to these symptoms. You must do whatever you can to look good and appear as if everything is okay. The goal is to send a signal to your ex that life for you has returned to normal.
Remain As Friendly As Possible
Anger is a byproduct of a relationship gone sour. It is a normal reaction to being jilted. Even the jilting party feels a sense of anger especially in a case involving infidelity. Initially, when a relationship breaks, the jilted party experiences a sense of shock and denial. Then he or she succumbs to the reality that the other person is gone and is no longer an integral part of their life. With this reality comes all the perceived wrongs that the other party was responsible for and this gives way to intense anger.
Because of this anger, there is the natural tendency to lash out at the other party. This may result in treating them with hostility. There have been cases where nasty confrontations have occurred between parties who have recently separated. This is especially if there was a third party involved and one of the lovers appears with their new lover.
If you want to get your ex back, you must remain friendly to them regardless of how you are feeling inside. Even when they appear with their new boyfriend or girlfriend, you must remain cordial. This will go along way in earning you the necessary points that you need to be able to get your ex back.
