subject: Getting Your Ex Back - Communication Tips [print this page] Getting Your Ex Back - Communication Tips
You want to get your ex back in your life again because you are hurting on emotional level. Researchers have found that the pain that comes with the loss of a loved one through a relationship breakup is as acute as that which accompanies a loss through death.
Why is getting your ex back so important to you? Actually it is the same for almost all of us. This is because when we are in a relationship, we invest heavily especially emotionally. Our self-esteem is also tied to the other person's validation of us. That is why when a relationship falls, one goes through a roller-coaster of emotions such as shock, denial, anger, guilt, acute sadness and finally depression. One of the reasons why people sink into depression is the final realization that the relationship is beyond salvage. But as difficult as it sounds, it is quite possible to get your ex back. A lot of it depends on your communication skills. Let us examine how.
Exercising restraint
Immediately after a relationship crumbles, there are feelings of guilt, sadness, confusion and even denial. But one of the most potent feelings is anger. This is especially if infidelity was a key factor in the breakup. Again while there is sadness and all the other accompanying feelings, one almost always feels ill-treated. There is a deep-seated feeling of injustice that has been perpetrated against you. How dare they after all you have done for them?
Because anger is occupies a substantial portion of what you harbor in your heart, it is very easy to go off on the other party especially when you get a chance to speak to them. If you are looking to get your ex back, you must absolutely avoid any angry outbursts whenever you talk to your ex.
Choose your words wisely
If you want to increase your chances of getting your ex back, it is recommended that you keep your distance from your ex after the break-up. This is because when you are absent, your ex will begin to value you and the things that you did together. But once in a while, you run into each other and what you say and how you conduct yourself during these meetings will determine whether you finally win your ex or not.
Again, resist all negative verbal outbursts. Speak cordially to your ex and even express delight at seeing them. Again you must be careful not to give the impression that you are coming apart because of your ex's departure. Indicate that it is good to see them. Appear calm and confident and avoid extremes of emotion. It is important that you give off the impression that you have other things going on in your life. It cannot appear like you are sitting idly by waiting for your ex to come back. It cannot also appear that your life has come to a standstill because of the departure of your ex.
When you talk to your ex, you can also indicate that while it is a delight to see them again, you do not have all day to sit and chat. Inform them politely that it was nice to see them again but you have to get going because you have important errands to run. If you want to get your ex back you have to become a challenge again.
