subject: Singing Instruction - Give Yourself Permission To Fail And You Won't [print this page] "What, Al Koehn! I've always been taught to strive for being the best at whatever I do." Ah, but the key word here is "strive" or work toward. I've no problem with a student who strives for being excellent. But insisting on perfection serves only to impede development because that singer can never be satisfied and say "yes, I'm achieving my dream. I'm becoming better." There is no room for accepting progress because progress isn't perfect.
Too often aspiring singers with much talent give up on singing because they never accept less than their perception of being perfect. No matter how often or sincerely I and others compliment them on their genuine improvement, they turn a deaf ear.
"But it's not perfect." They argue.
Can you imagine trying to teach someone like that. No matter what you say they put themselves down as being less than perfect. They are sabotaging their own progress.
Barbara Streisand is known as a perfectionist because she strives for such a high degree of performance. But remember that Barbara never really liked her voice. She wanted to be an actress. It was only when she accepted what so many others told her, that she was a terrific singer with a great voice, that she progressed into the icon she is today.
If she were a real perfectionist she would have given up, never allowing herself to grow and improve. She just wasn't perfect, and she accepted that, and she believed others who complimented and supported her despite her own misgivings.
Give yourself permission to fail. When you miss a note or forget a lyric or are having a bad day, do what the great pros do: shrug it off and go on, or turn the mistake into something new and unplanned. But in order to do this you must go into the performance or lesson understanding that you are not perfect and never will be. Take the pressure off by accepting the fact that you probably aren't going to sing the song or exercise exactly the way you planned.
One of the easiest ways to permit yourself failure is to be prepared for problems that may come up during a song.
1. Forgetting lyrics is not the disaster we presume it to be. Most people don't know the lyrics anyway (unless you are singing the National Anthem). Just pick up with lyrics you do know, from another verse or chorus.
2. Wrong notes can be made into right notes. Just don't panic. Do what jazz musicians do: ad lib a little.
3. If a note is too high and you know you're going to miss it, sing another note that works with the song. People will think you are just being creative.
Give yourself permission to fail and you stand a much better chance at succeeding.
