subject: Trying To Get My Ex Back - Advice for Men [print this page] Trying To Get My Ex Back - Advice for Men
What women say they want, and what women actually want is not necessarily the same thing!
My principal piece of relationship advice here today is... stop listening to what women say they want, and start observing what women display they actually want...
How women display what they want.
Just spend a little time at any bar, night club or social event and very soon, if you're at all observant, it will become entirely obvious who's getting the attention and... who's not. When I was trying to get my ex back I spent a lot of time observing, trying to determine what kind of men women choose.
Women will say "I just want a man who listens to me and treats me nicely." Then choose the man who dominates the conversation and treats them like..., well not so nicely! Women will say, "I don't care about material things, I just want a guy with a good sense of humor." Then date the guy with pots of cash and zero personality!
Why would a woman say she wants one thing and choose the complete opposite? This was my biggest question while trying to get my ex back. The answer was not what I expected, It turns out it's in our basic make up; it's hard wired into our subconscious. It's the programmed subconscious motivation responsible for the propagation and survival of the human species... wow!
When out on a first date, getting pregnant is probably the last thing on any woman's (conscious) mind, but the subconscious motivators, the programs running in the subconscious mind are very much involved in the process of evaluation. Women are programmed to respond to providers, a mate who can offer her and her offspring the best possible chance of survival is definitely on the menu...
I know all this sounds a little crazy, after all this is the 21st century, right! I mean were not still cave men are we? Think again... those programs run in all of us, male or female, they are also known as, basic human nature, they don't really change... we may not be consciously thinking of them, but the programs running in the background are a little like this.
Eat, sleep, mate and defend...
It's basic survival thinking... Is that great dad, the sweet guy who panders to her every whim? No, he's the guy capable of providing food and shelter for her and her offspring. The MAN who can provide is someone with self- assurance, maybe arrogance but defiantly the confidence to bring home the bacon.
Women might say "I want a sweet romantic guy", and I guess many believe they do (sorry ladies), but what they actually want/crave... is a provider - That can include a romantic caring side, but it definitely doesn't include being a wuss... Unless I changed my approach I was definitely wasting my time trying to get my ex back.
Women need men who can be good providers. Even when they're quite capable of providing for themselves, they definitely don't want a guy who's a doormat.
Another thing that I discovered while trying to get my ex back is that having the ability to provide is not everything, (obviously!) But interestingly, one of the reasons women place such a high value on gifts, even seemingly trivial ones, is that it demonstrates another important survival quality, generosity... what's the point of slaughtering a wild boar if you're not going to share...
Have you noticed also how women go weak over a guy with a bit of muscle? Even in this age of technology where men generally make far more money working with brain than brawn, women are still drawn to guys who exhibit physical strength, it's the program, strength equal safety, equals security.
These are just some of the observations I made while trying to get my ex back, I think I'd sum it up with the phrase "man up..." women want a man to be just that... get it!
While it may be considered modern to show what is laughing referred to as your feminine side... my advice...would be - Yes be a gentleman, yes be loving, but above all be strong. Figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and do your best to provide it.
