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subject: How Men And Women Communicate, Bridge The Gap! [print this page]


Ther is a definite need to build a communication bridge over the waters of men and women in a world where listening is a lost art. "How do I talk so men will listen?"

Most women will nod affirminitivly when asked if they have ever seen a colleague take credit for their idea, or of being emotional, taken jokes to personally or being frequently interrupted.

The question then is how to talk so men will listen, all part of bridging the communication waters between men and women.

Men and women communicate differently, in ingrained styles they learned from birth and have become deeply embedded in the workplace. Bottom line men and women communicate but they do it differently

There is more than one way to communicate and something called "code switching" a system of using knowledge of more than one culture and language to communicate.

It could be thought of as a travel guide to a foreign country or culture. The differences in men's and women's styles often create a persistent "credibility gap" where women are credited with less authority and power than men.

Women are consistent and this has not changed over the years in that their biggest complaint for over 30 years and comes from all levels and professions is the question "How can I get men to take me seriously?" Thus the theme of bridging the communication waters between women and men.

Change takes time and is not easy even though there are more women in the work force now that men have lost about three-quarters of the jobs in the recession. Having more women in the workplace is not necessarily bringing change.

There are more women in the work place these days, but don't let that mislead you. A lot of these women are not on board the bandwagon of equality in the workplace between men and women and are happy to keep the status quo.

These women do not want to rock the boat and are perfectly happy to accomodate men at all costs. They have no assertive skills and really don't even want them.

There certainly are gender differences. Women will apologize more than men and play the "office mom" role to whom all confide and offer more subjective opinions.

Men tell more jokes and the women laugh at them. Men want solutions to problems while women want to understand them, and men like to play devil's advocate while women want to help everyone to agree.

Just look at the difference in emails written. Men banter and write short to-the-point messages, while women share personal information and express appreciation and support in longer messages.

Their need to be tools we can learn to help women and men bridge the gap with steps to take to respond to interruptions with suggested phrases and body language.

We are not male bashing here, nor is it to be a whining, bitching session. We are trying to make women more self-conscious and to "step up to the plate and do something about it."

There might be a chance to do something together as a partnership like getting a gym membership and starting a workout routine together where you can communicate freely and openly realizing you are both on an equal footing.

by: Walter Derksen




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