subject: Is it Possible To See All the Signs of an Affair and Yet Your Spouse Is Not Be Cheating? [print this page] Is it Possible To See All the Signs of an Affair and Yet Your Spouse Is Not Be Cheating?
I get a lot of women who email me and doubt what their gut is telling them. They're seeing all the signs and indications that their husband or boyfriend is having an affair or cheating, but when they confront the guy, he denies everything and has an explanation for every concern. Over time, you begin to wonder if maybe you're projecting your own insecurities onto him and falsely accusing him of something that he isn't doing. People often ask me things like:"can he be innocent of having an affair if all the signs are there?;" or "my gut is telling me he's cheating but he insists that he isn't. Could I be wrong?" I'll answer these questions in the following article.
Your Gut Is Often Right And Most Men Won't Admit To Cheating Unless They Are Caught: Statistics are very clear on the fact that only a very small majority of men (less than 5%) admit that they are being unfaithful even when confronted or questioned. Many don't or won't give up the game until it's very obvious that they are caught.
Often times, the little feeling that we think came out of no where is really the result of a lot of observations and concrete feelings that are just catching up to us now, much later. The bottom line? Sure, you could always be wrong. But, if you are getting weird vibes, it never hurts to be aware and to follow them up.
Are There Just Too Many Things To Explain Away? I often tell women that it's usually a combination or warning signs other than just one huge warning sign that is really the tip off of an affair. Sure, people have to work late all the time. Yes, cars have issues or break downs. Admittedly, you absolutely have to be there for your family when they need you and yes, every man deserves time alone going out with his friends. There will also be times when the chemistry is not so hot between you or when there is lulls in the bedroom and arguments on the horizon. There are times when you (and he) can do no right in one another's eyes. All of these things can be normal if they are happening alone. But, if you get a combination of these things popping all at once, then you're right to be suspicious. Again, this a statistical anomaly that could well deserve your attention.
Not Getting Caught Spying If He Really Is Innocent And Isn't Cheating: I understand why you're hesitant because nothing worse could be wrong than him being innocent and you wrongly accusing him. This would erode the trust and you'd be making problems where there are none. But, you can keep an eye out without looking like an insecure hanger on. You can check out his cell phone, tap his computer, and there is even software that you can install undetected that allows you to check up on him on the sly and in private so that you don't have to repeatedly get a hold of the phone or the computer.
You can see exactly who he's calling,exactly who he's talking to, and exactly what he's saying / texting. You can also put monitors on his person or his car. This is easier and less expensive than you may think. And, if you're wrong, you'll know it yourself. If he's truly innocent and isn't cheating, all of this spying will yield nothing, but no one will have to know but you. And then you can call off the hunt, feel relief and move on. If you do come up with proof of an affair, at least you know the truth once and for all.
I understand your frustration and self doubt. I was in this same situation a short time ago. My heart knew that he was cheating, but my head didn't want to acknowledge it. After thinking on it for a long time, I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can reada very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/.
