subject: The Basics Of Marriage Counseling For You And Your Partner [print this page] Marriage counseling may be the answer to saving problem marriages on the brink of dissolution. The earlier stages of courtship may be quick, happy and relatively easy. However, frequently the marriage itself is sometimes more difficult as time goes on. Blending together two distinct personalities in one day-to-day life is very demanding. Many find this challenge difficult to accomplish. The result of this struggle is sometimes conflict and despair. Many partners simply cannot easily adjust to the idiosyncrasies of another person.
For those in this situation, marriage counseling can be an effective remedy. A third party may facilitate discussions helping the couple to find the root causes of their problems. This counselor also will help the process of finding solutions to them. Given that many marital problems start with the lack of communication, this process of beginning discussion under a trained eye is helpful. The initial effort to save a failing marriage begins with talking constructively. A third party is helpful in ensuring that the talk is productive and does not degenerate into just another argument.
Marriage counseling usually takes place in the counselor's office. The sessions can take an hour or more depending on the particulars of the couple. The initial counseling session usually begins with the counselor finding out what each partner believes to be the problem with the marriage. Quite frequently, these initial problems are not the fundamental issue. The counselor then uses his training to dig deeper into the true issues and help the couple work on solutions to their problems. A trained professional can help referee discussions and find solutions to these real problems and not the surface issues that form the initial complaints.
To be successful, marriage counseling requires that both partners have the strong desire to save the relationship. If saving the marriage is only one partner's goal, counseling will almost certainly fail. Before starting counseling, both partners should agree on wanting to make the marriage work.
Marriage counseling requires the inner strength to answer many hard intimate questions about both oneself and the relationship. A counselor will need this information in order to help with the relationship's issues and to find solutions for the couple. Many of these questions can be quite personal, including questions on sex and individual tastes on a number of different issues. Counselors are professionals who promise secrecy and will keep all parties' personal information confidential. Relationships are never simple. If they required little work, divorce would be likely rare.
