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subject: Ending A Relationship-how To Break Up With Someone [print this page]


Have a lot of things to do today? Is your to-do list reading like this:

Change Tiger's litter box

Wash my hair

Break up with dumb @#a$

Ending a relationship may not be at the top of everyone's list, but the truth is when its gone...its just gone,and somebody has to make the first move to put it to rest. Many relationships last long past the use by date simply because breaking up is just uncomfortable hard to deal with.

There can be scenes that can be nominated for an Academy Award. You know what I mean. Uncontrollable sobbing and screaming. And dont forget the show for the neighbors-decorating the front yard with all your things. Other times, the relationship just runs its course until someone says hey I'm outta here.

How does one go about ending a relationship with out leaving casualties?

There needs to be a clear understanding of why you want to end the romance. The first reason that comes into your mind may not always be the real reason at all. The next step in ending a relationship is to be honest with both your partner and your self when you are discussing the reason for the split.

Find a time that is good for both parties. Be present during the break up. It is better to end the relationship in person rather than over the phone,or(heaven help us) texting,or email. But if distance is a problem,its best to do it sooner than wait until you are able to get together.

Show compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to end the romantic ties with love and compassion. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Dont put your partner on the defensive. Take a walk down memory lane. Talk about the things youve learned together and the memories you will have that came from your love. Dont take anything personal when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they dont really mean. Be Teflon-coated and let any negative words just slide off.

When ending a relationship,everyone deals with the process differently. Some may need to meet with the other partner several times to bring closure to the relationship. While others may need space. Give your ex what they need to adjust.

But, on the other hand, dont let them put a guilt trip on you. It's best if you keep a positive relationship of with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you consider getting back together? When you come to this point,does ending a relationship always mean the end, or closing the chapter?

Only you can make that decision. Granted many relationships can be saved with certain conditions in place. If you are willing to make an effort, this period can make you an even stronger couple.

But, if you have it in your mind to dissolve the relationship and walk away, it is best to end with a clean break and let both parties move on.

by: Carol Jackson




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