subject: Why Infidelity Warnings Signs Should Not Be Your Focus [print this page] Why Infidelity Warnings Signs Should Not Be Your Focus
The following "Infidelity Warning Signs" interview was excerpted
Q: Why are you uncomfortable with the "Infidelity Warning Signs" subject?
A: One of the reasons I'm not comfortable with focusing on infidelity warning signs, is that many women are more suspicious than informed. And so they go around, and they are looking for things, and I know that if a person really has an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, and is being led by the spirit of God, they are keen enough for the Holy Spirit to reveal to them the things they really need to know.
I know that not everyone is in intimate relationship with Christ, and particularly in that situation
I'm not saying that you don't need to know if your husband is having intercourse with someone else (laughs), I think you definitely need to know that. But I also think that you need to know some things about yourself.
And some of the things that you need to know about yourself is
Where are you right now?
You see, when people start looking for things, they will always find something. You'll find a snake under a rock if it's been sitting there long enough.
Another question you should be asking yourself is
Why are you suspicious about your relationship? And how did you get here?
One of the things I found out about myself was that I was so needy. I was so insecure, and finding out about the infidelity just deepened that. I had allowed Ronnie to become
I had him in the wrong place. I had allowed him to be on the throne of my heart ahead of God. And I know not everybody is concerned about such things, but it was a really bad thing. As a result, I was expecting from him things only God could give me. He had become my God. And when the shifting of that began to take place, that's when my entire equilibrium shifted.
And who I thought I was.
I had thought I was somebody else, and that I was in control of things...but I found out I wasn't. I had so put Ronnie in the wrong place. The sun rose and set on him. Like he could do no wrong. Even though he was doing wrong every day in plain sight (laughs).
And when he'd say, "I didn't do that, I didn't say that". He had me questioning myself.
And the things he was telling me, only a dummy wouldn't believe them ... but I did.
For example, when he was out all night one time, he said he'd been at a party and had gotten so high that when he start to drive, he realized he should not be driving, so he parked his car on 32nd Avenue and went to sleepand we lived on 36th Avenue.
In the first place, the Police would knock on your window on 32nd Avenue...and besides, I called the party. This is the kind of thing he would tell me.
And then he would try make up with me, On Sunday morning, when I should have been going to church, he'd say, "come into bed with me" and of course try to fix everything with the "Magic Wand"... which is what we called it.
But it was just ridiculous the things I believed...
Who would believe a story like, "I'm going fishing with my buddies"...
... In a 3-piece Suit!!
But I did. You see that often, almost like with the Battered Woman Syndrome, where a woman has the man in the wrong place, and they are in a dangerous position to be brainwashed where they don't even recognize reality themselves. They become as sick as the perpetrator.
So, Back to our original questionDepending on how sick a person is already (in this situation), they could go to lengths to find something that really isn't there.
Do you know how much female abuse is going on nowadays?
And I know this is a whole other subject but people can make themselves crazier, if they're already not healthy...looking for infidelity warning signs.
I guess that's the answer to why I have this opinion. If they already have a tendency to be insecure, suspicious, or paranoid, this could really make them crazy and it can affect the kids too.
I guess that's my biggest objection with looking for infidelity warning signs.
You see, with Ronnie, I wasn't one to get behind him in a car to see where he was going, or go calling around. So he thought he had it made, and he could do what he wanted.
Now, the night of the all night party, I called, and the party was over, I don't even know if Ronnie went to the party. That was sick on my part to believe thatbut I did believe that.
To wrap it up, you can't just be looking for infidelity warning signs, you should be asking yourself questions about you at the same time; questions about why you are where you are, and whether you have your priorities in the right places.
