subject: Save The Relationship Advice - Be Your Own Marriage Couselor [print this page] Save The Relationship Advice - Be Your Own Marriage Couselor
A marriage has to have love to be successful. When the love wanes, then it would seem like the union has become crippled. It is likely that your are going through a severe deficiency or inadequacy of love in your union and you are trying to find ways to get back the love into the relationship. If this is the condition that you are now in, then you need to try considering counseling to save the relationship. Better still, consider being your own counselor.
Many of you may be thinking this is a foolish thing to do nevertheless just take a pause and deliberate on it. This may be the best plan of action yet for you and your partner to iron out issues in your relationship. You and your spouse are in the best position to evaluate your circumstances as you two are the direct players to it. Only you will be able to figure out what caused your relationship to break down and in the end define solutions to save the relationship.
A lot of couples, when confronted with a dilemma in their relationship, usually let their emotions take control, marring their objectivity. If you and your partner can set aside these adverse emotions, you will be in a better position to sort out your disagreements and determine on the most advantageous solution to the problem to save the relationship.
Start by giving each other some space before talking about the issues, particularly when the hurt is still new. As soon as you have individually sorted out your emotions and are prepared to be objective about it, sit down and talk about it. Go back in time to determine what led to the conflict. Bear in mind, at the start of your relationship, you both were teeming with excitement and devotion. You were brimming with love for each other. You were both teeming with inspired expectancy of what the future holds for you two. But at some point, all that was lost. Pondering on the past will enable you to pinpoint what caused this.
Was it the everyday pressures of living that caused you to forget the passion? Have you committed sins of omission? Have you been giving enough to the relationship or have you been steadily at the receiving end therefore, making your partner feel that he or she has been at the losing end? Bear in mind it takes two to tango. Have you two been so unconcerned because you have been together for so long, that you have forgotten the thing that brought you two together in the first place - the everlasting love that you affirmed for each other.
Ask yourself these questions and other questions that may bring out the cause of your misunderstanding. It is only you and your partner who be able to determine the answers to these. Getting to the root of the problem is essential and as soon as you are able to understand the cause, then you have taken the first big step to being your own counselor and be on your way to save the relationship.
Oftentimes it is the small annoyances cumulated over time that are the reasons for the major misunderstanding between couples. Probably you both were indifferent to catch these while they were still easier to contain. In being aware the root of the problem, you are able to thresh these out and finally put a solution to them.
Try being your own counselor. After all, you and your partner are the main characters in the relationship and are at the best position to define the problem and define a lasting solution to it. Make the effort. As your own counselor, you can look at the problem at all from all sides. Solutions are more lasting when these are put together by the direct parties - you and your spouse.
In the end, when you have come to an agreement, be amenable to make changes if necessary. It is only if you are willing to do your part to save the relationship will you be able to get back the love that you lost.
