subject: Be a sexy French maid this Halloween - I insist [print this page] Be a sexy French maid this Halloween - I insist
Take, for example, a friend of mine from my 20s. Call her Joan. Joan, who was always complaining about being unjustly overlooked by men (with some justification: She was great, but lacked some of the attributes prized by Homo Superficialis, which was pretty much all of us back then) went to a catsuit party dressed as a "frumpy housewife."
And she wound up standing, or sitting, mostly alone, nursing her drink and a growing grudge against the opposite sex as one man after another avoided her, ignored her and/or excused himself after only a brief chat to chase after one of the naughty nurses or sexy devils at the party.
I'm ashamed to say I was as guilty as anyone. I wasn't always the mature, seasoned, well-rounded individual that appears before you today. At one point, Joan was trying to complain to me about what louses men are, but, dog that I was back then, I had my eye on a slinky little minx in a purple velour jumpsuit.
And I was like: "Hmm, yes, that's terrible, Joan, that's shocking, I can't believe men are avoiding and ignoring you because of your frumpy housewife outfit. It's shallow, it's superficial - oh, uh, could you excuse me a moment? I just have to go ... check on something. I'll be right back."
And poof! David Eddie melted into the crowd like all the rest, practically muttering under my breath as I left: "Here, kitty, kitty!"
(If I close my eyes I can still see that purple velour catsuit, gentlemen. Mee-freakin-yow!)
Explain to your boyfriend something similar could happen to him.
Remind him that costume spiderman have a powerful effect on the human subconscious and, deep down somewhere, the way you present yourself? That's what people take you for.
(For example, you're lying on a hospital bed and a guy comes in. How do you know he's a doctor? His lab coat and clipboard. You don't ask for identification. But if a guy came in wearing, say, leather chaps and pasties, saying: "Well, well, well, how are we doing today?" You may have some doubts, yeah?)
As moody, complicated, suit-wearing Don Draper from Mad Men, he has a much better shot of basking in the attention of all and sundry.
I don't know if it's some kind of nostalgia thing or daddy thing, but the ladies are going gaga over this Draper dude. Whereas he would have to be a pretty charming hobo to get the same kind of reaction dressed in rags and with dirt rubbed all over his face.
