Am I the only parent in the whole wide world who thinks the whole Santa thing totally sucks? Who finds it repugnant, the idea of looking my kid in the eye and telling him that this dude will bring him presents at Christmas time? Made by elves. From the North Pole. Oh, and he likes to hang out in shopping centres. Oh, and son- you should go sit on his knee.
Yeah yeah I know. "But dharmapiglet, blub, blub, what about the wonder, what about giving kids the chance to be kids, to believe in fairytales?"
To which I respond, blub blub, wonder? We live on a rock spinning through infinite space! We share our planet with creatures that look like this! We can fly through the air, we can breathe underwater! Whole societies of ants live under our feet. Clouds kind of look like rabbits or trees or your Uncle Stan sometimes, and if it's dark, we can switch on a light! The whole, blub blub, thing, blub, is so, fricken, miraculous, blub blub! Yet you're telling me that what it lacks is a fictitious beardy dude in a red and white suit!?
Sheesh! Tough crowd.
But.
I haven't discussed any of this with my kids. Yet. Social reality is that most people participate in this farce and to cut my kids out of the conspiracy will make them different. I don't want my kids to be the playground killjoys. To shatter the (ridiculous, pointless, soon-to-be-shattered-anyway) illusions of their little friends. I don't want to face the other parents, devastated because the big fat lies they were told as kids supposedly made their childhoods so wondrous, and now my kids have blathered out the truth and worded up their kids, meaning they can't dish up the same stale old rubbish to them. Between Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, our potential to dash the fantasies of countless kids is just about limitless. What to do? Lie along with the crowd? Or tell the truth and relegate myself and my kids to being Nigel Nomates twice a year, or more when their teeth start falling out?
One of my friends suggested I just go along with it all and if my kids ask me outright about the red and white dude, winged tooth merchant or That Rabbit, I should just say, "well, what do you think?"
I will, though it sticks in my craw. Craw, craw! What's that, children? Is it the call of the wise truth telling crow, who nurtures innocent children with trust and honesty? Or is it the scraping gait of the mean old fairytale-killing Christmas Crone?
I don't know. What do you think?
Am I the only parent in the whole wide world who thinks the whole Santa thing totally sucks? Who finds it repugnant, the idea of looking my kid in the eye and telling him that this dude will bring him presents at Christmas time. Made by elves, in the North Pole. Oh, and he likes to hang out in shopping centres. Oh, and son- you should go sit on his knee.
