subject: 5 Dating Behaviors You Want to Lose [print this page] 5 Dating Behaviors You Want to Lose 5 Dating Behaviors You Want to Lose
Would you like to be more successful at dating? Do you know the five most common behaviors that set you backand set you up for failure? If you would like to have your next relationship last, pay attention to these patterns. They will sink your hopes of having an enduring partnership unless you stay alert to them.
Being Desperate
If your new date rarely calls and you are always waiting by the phone for him or her to ask you over, you don't have enough of a life. Without activities that charge your batteries, and a special purpose to guide your choices, you are vulnerable to looking for someone to bring energy, excitement, and a purpose to you. Being desperate is unattractive, unproductive, and will never bring you what you want. If you recognize this quality in yourself, make a plan today to:
Get out of the house to be with people.
Find a hobby that you love to do.
Research careers you are interested in and what it would take for you to get started.
Exercise on a daily basis.
Organize your living and workspaces.
You have to lose the desperate behavior first before you can find the great dates!
Trying to have a relationship with a player
On the surface, it may seem flattering when someone professes they will change old self-destructive ways all for the love of you. However, most leopards do not change their spots unless they're had some serious intervention. He may want to believe he can do this through his relationship with you; you will want to think you are this powerful. But this dynamic is a setup for a relationship failureand for you to have a broken heart. If you think you are going to change a habitual player into a monogamous partner, check your own thoughts. Have you tried this before? Perhaps you carry a deeply rooted belief that says, "All men cheat." Stay on the alert to your attraction to this kind of man or woman.
Not understanding your deal-breakers
If you are attracted to tall blondes with blue eyes that you feel immediate chemistry with you may think you've met your match. If you both like spicy food, football games and expensive wines, you may believe that happily-ever-after is right around the corner. If you do make this mistake over and over not understanding what your deal breakers areyou may wonder why love never lasts. Love can't sustain itself on superficial characteristicsespecially if there are other qualities like addictions, lying, cheating, and other breaches of trust. If your potential mate has any of these, in the end you won't care what color his or her eyes are.
Being with people who can't keep agreements
If you are rock solid in keeping your word, you are a treasure to know. But if you are in a relationship with someone who can't keep a promise, what exactly do you have together? If you stay with this person, you will always be making excuses for them, or covering for them, or, worse yetdoing for them what they should be doing for themselves. Nothing but a full-out confrontation with a counselor and your partner is going to change the trajectory of your future together until you handle this missing value. Don't settle for someone who never comes through with what they promise.
Feeling sorry for yourself
Of course you deserve compassion and support when you have gone through a loss. You need all the love and understanding your friends and family can provide. But seeking someone who will stroke your inner victim falls into another realm. For instance, if your husband left you over a year ago and you can't let go of the marriage and the tears, you need an intervention. You need to find your way back into the world, able to stand on your own two legs. Being stroked for feeling sorry for yourself will only keep you stuck in being "pitiful." Pitiful has no dignity, no future, and no hope. If you are looking for a date that will feel sorry for you, you will eventually regret this choice. You will either outgrow the need for pity when you discover your genius musclesor, you will stay stuck in this mind set, becoming more pitiful each day!
Want to have a great, fabulous, lasting date? Do you want a date that goes on for a lifetime? Then pay attention to the above behaviors. You deserve to do, be, and have better. You can do it.
