subject: Relationship Advice - Can Simple Questions Eliminate Criticism? [print this page] Relationship Advice - Can Simple Questions Eliminate Criticism?
Most of people are very sensitive to criticism. Have you ever felt as if your partner found a new hobby to practice over you - criticism, improvement tips and some other suggestion that makes you angry? Reading this article you will learn how handle such times.
First you need to understand that you are dealing with human.
Humans have different needs thoughts and emotions. Sometimes (and for some folks most of the time), people just don't really talk about their needs, feelings or intentions. They imply about it by their behaviors.
Questions:
It is most likely that this hard time has come to you (if there is no other fundamental problem) because you are just not communicating enough with each other. So, begin by asking different questions. For example:
Why are you saying this?
What so you really mean?
What do you think should I/we do about it? (People really like to be asked for their opinion?
Have you considered...? (This last question is also very useful if you are the one that want to make a remark about the other side's actions)
Timing:
If you feel hurt because of the criticism - Don't talk about it while you are in an emotional storm. Wait for some other time, at least 48 hours it you really feel that the criticism was painful.
Breathe deeply and say that the criticism is hurting you but you don't want to talk about it at the moment because you are confused.
Don't give up even if your partner wants to talk about things right now. Explain that you are in an emotional storm, that you are very heart and that you really believe that you shouldn't talk about things while you are in such emotional condition.
Don't wary, you will be surprised that not only you will be able to talk about things, but that your ability to really talk about your fundamental needs and values will arise, so will your partner's understanding of you.
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