subject: 3 Tips For Saving Your Relationship During the Holidays [print this page] 3 Tips For Saving Your Relationship During the Holidays
The holiday season can be tough on romantic relationships. It's the time of year when you see a lot of images of happy couples and you want happiness in your own relationship.
But what if things are going wrong? You might be on the verge of breaking up and your partner doesn't seem to want to save your relationship.
Here are 3 strategies you can use in saving your relationship, that work especially well during the holidays.
Be different (in your words and actions)
Use communication strategies that are different than what your romantic partner is expecting. What's unusual stands out.
If you always argue with your lover, try listening to what they have to say without saying anything back.
Or if you're a person who clams up and can't think of anything to say, try preparing a few short statements ahead of time and memorizing them.
If you always storm out of the house and look for comfort from your best friend, why not try sticking around and searching for the root cause of your disagreement?
By acting differently, you send a positive signal to your partner.
Rather than texting or calling, why not send a handwritten letter or card?
Most people use electronic devices to talk to their friends and loved ones. Even the phone seems a little antiquated some days.
Your partner gets tons of text messages, emails and IM's every day. Those are really efficient means of communication, but after a while they all seem the same.
Why not send your boyfriend or girlfriend a handwritten letter? Chances are, it'll be one of the few personalized letters your lover gets.
If you think about it, most people receive lots of mail each day. Credit card offers, bank statements, sales flyers. But in most cases this mail holds no connection. You don't get the sense that someone is thinking of you. Rather you feel like you're standing in the middle of a huge crowd, trying to get some attention.
It's not a happy feeling. And sometimes the holiday season can intensify these feelings and make you feel even worse. So try a new strategy and see how your partner responds.
Stop resisting the break-up
This is a hard step to take. No one wants to feel like they are giving up on a relationship. But most people only have so much mental energy.
When you spend all your time trying to convince your partner that you shouldn't split, you are always looking at the negative side of things. And it can be difficult to remember why you wanted to stay together in the first place.
So when your boyfriend or girlfriend tells you they need a break from the relationship, take a step back, listen to what they have to say and give them some space. If they feel that strongly, you've got to honor their wishes.
You may feel a lot of resistance to this idea. After all, it feels like you're getting further apart rather than saving your relationship. But try it. You may discover things about yourself and your lover that you never knew existed. And you may lay the foundation for an even stronger relationship.
Using these 3 strategies can give you a new perspective on yourself and the person you love. Try one or more of them today and see how your relationship changes.
