subject: Decoding Male Psychology: Your Instruction Manual [print this page] Decoding Male Psychology: Your Instruction Manual
Do you struggle to decode the male psyche? Do you need help intuiting what men need from you? Are you frustrated by men who say they like passionate women, but don't respond to your strong personality? These are commonly asked questions among modern, professional women. To help answer them, you must delve into the mind of the modern man and discover his motivations and desires. By decoding male psychology, you will be able to finally understand what he needs in a relationship, and will discover how you can provide it.
It should be no surprise that men like a little mystery in their relationships. So why do many women fail to take this into account? Because they wrongly apply the same strategies to their relationships that they do in their careers: they pick up phone calls unfailingly; they show up early; they answer questions with direct, non-mysterious answers. Be careful! Remember that your lover is not your boss. You shouldn't treat your relationship like a climb up the corporate ladder. If you do, you will successfully expunge any intrigue or excitement in your relationship. Without any mystery left in the relationship, your man will get bored, and he will see no point in continuing to chase you.
Even though they might not admit it, a man needs excitement to be irrevocably drawn to a woman. For the chase to remain interesting, a man should always have a nagging curiosity in the back of his mind regarding his woman's activities when she's not with him. Men are extremely responsive to the sense of exhilaration they feel when chasing a woman, and females can depend on this feeling to carry the first few stages of a relationship.
For men, excitement often comes in the form of women who appear impulsive and unpredictable, with just a touch of irresponsibility. It's true: these types of women can wreak havoc on a man's heart, but he doesn't care! He's not carefully examining his desires. He's just a creature of simple reactions.
So what should a modern career woman do if she hopes to morph into the type of woman who will get a man's blood boiling?
Dress the part.
You shouldn't dress for a business meeting when meeting your man. But this doesn't mean you should dress cheaply. Banish those lousy vinyl miniskirts to the back of your closet! Smartly tailored skirts are fine for the office, but try wearing something more feminine and flirty around your guy: anything with a subtle hint of lace is great; a ruffle here or there won't hurt. Cleavagenot too much of it, of courseis always a plus!
Be intriguing.
There's nothing sexy about busting out your day-planner to pencil in a date. He doesn't need to see you enter his contact information into your BlackBerry. Try to avoid your impulse to be as organized as possible, and add some spontaneity into the mix. Let a few of his phone calls slide. You don't need to call him back every time he leaves a message. And there is absolutely no reason to divulge all the details of your recent girls' night out when he asks about it, which he will.
Let him take the wheel.
You may be comfortable in the driver's seat, but he needs to feel like he has control in the relationship, too. This will help him to feel safe and secure. After all, you want a man, not a sidekick. Let yourself sit back a bit; it's not "being weak" to let him do some of the work.
Some men stay away from strong women because they're afraid of being emasculated. If you allow him to make some of the moves, he'll realize that his masculinity is safe.
Understand him.
At the most basic level, men want the same things from a relationship that women do. They want a secure, loving bond with a compatible partner. They want a lover who can also be their friend. They want a woman who is confident, self-assured, and, most of all, understanding.
If you are willing to make a few adjustments to the way you relate to men, you will be well on your way to decoding his psychology, and you and he both will find that strong, successful women can be desirable and sexy, too.
