subject: Tips for Recovering After an Affair – Moving Forward Towards a Stronger Marriage [print this page] Tips for Recovering After an Affair Moving Forward Towards a Stronger Marriage
Recovering after an affair is definitely not easy. When infidelity enters a relationship everything changes. Regardless of how strong the bond between the couple was, it's shattered for a time in the days and weeks after the adultery is uncovered. The person who was cheated on will question the entire relationship and everything their partner has said to them up to that point. The cheater will be consumed with regret and will often wonder how they got so far off course. The couple feels like distant strangers and if they decide to rebuild the broken bond, they recognize that they have an uphill climb.
Step one of recovering after an affair is to get everything on the table and then pack it away in the past. The spouse who is the victim of the infidelity is going to want answers to some very hard questions. The person who cheated has to be willing to supply those answers regardless of how difficult that is. There will be a lot of sadness, anger and confusion, before, during and after these conversations. But once all the details of the affair are brought out into the open, the questions will be answered and the person who has victimized by the affair can finally put them to rest.
This exercise also allows both partners the chance to talk about what caused the affair. There are many different reasons why people look beyond the vows of their marriage for intimate fulfillment. Sometimes, they feel lonely or they feel that their needs aren't being met. It may be a case of them feeling emotionally neglected or perhaps their spouse withholds intimacy out of anger. Understanding the reasons behind the affair can help the couple to begin the process of moving their marriage in a forward direction.
It's also incredibly important for the cheating spouse to understand that their partner is going to move through this on their own unique schedule. They may have good days where they feel more open and willing to be close and then there may be days when they are moody and sad because they are thinking about the affair. Just as it took time to build the bond in the early days of your relationship, rebuilding that bond can't be done overnight either. It's important for both partners to be as patient and compassionate as they possibly can be. With determination and mutual understanding, the marriage can become stronger and more committed than it's ever been before.
