subject: Should You Use Technology Or Software To Catch The Husband You Think Is Cheating? [print this page] Should You Use Technology Or Software To Catch The Husband You Think Is Cheating?
Many of the visitors who find my blog do so because they are looking for ways to catch their husband cheating. And many times, they are trying to educate themselves about the technology which will help them to do so. Some of them ask me about the moral implications of spying in this way. I sometimes have people comment that they "just don't feel right about" checking up on their husband. The decision to follow up on him is a very individual one. I can't make that call for anyone. And I would certainly never encourage someone to do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or which clashes with their values.
But I can tell you that the many (if not the majority) of husbands who cheat are caught with technology that uses their own cell phone or computer to find out what they have been doing. There is also technology that allows for you to record or monitor exactly what your husband is doing. In truth, if you want to find out if your husband is cheating or having an affair, there is no shortage of technology that will allow you to do this pretty easily and cheaply. Some of it is simplistic but still quite effective and some of it is more complex. You're looking at anything from software, to reverse look up, recorders, cameras, and other gadgets, As with most things, there is something for everyone and most people can find tools that they are comfortable with and in their price range.
So, whether the technology is widely and readily available is not really the question because it is most definitely is, and much of it is very effective and user friendly. The real question, in my experience, is if people are ready to learn the truth. Because my opinion from the comments that I hear is that many people hesitate or get caught up on these moral issues because they are quite frightened about what they might find. And, they aren't sure how they are going to approach their husbands when they have the very hurtful evidence in their hands.
I can't address these issues for you. This is something that you will have to decide based upon what you feel is most important to you and what you feel is right. It's often a decision between knowing the potentially painful truth and then acting accordingly or remaining in the dark and still being hurt because the suspicions eat you alive. (And there are times when the technology shows you that you are wrong.)
I can't tell you if the knowing or the not knowing is preferable. I choose to stay in the dark for a long time, but ultimately, the suspicions eventually become like an itch that I absolutely needed to scratch. And yes, the truth was painful. But it was also validation. And I respected myself so much more for taking decisive action and for standing up for what was right for me. I don't think I could've ever truly been at peace if I kept on wondering. But, some people would rather wonder than to truly know - especially if the answer is not going to be the one that they were hoping for. This is perfectly OK because they have taken what they feel is the right course of action for them.
As I alluded to, I was in this same situation a short time ago. My heart knew that he was cheating, but my head didn't want to acknowledge it. I held off and remained in the dark for a long time. But after thinking on it for quite some time, I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. This made me angry enough to present this evidence to him, and he had no choice but to come clean. You can read a very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/
