subject: Eyes are the Window to the Soul: The value of making eye contact while communicating [print this page] Eyes are the Window to the Soul: The value of making eye contact while communicating
Doesn't it drive you absolutely crazy when someone wears sunglasses indoors? I know I don't like it at all. I can't help but think: "What are you trying to hide?" When someone does not allow me to see their eyes I always feel a little queasy when I look at them. This queasiness is magnified a thousand times if I am trying to have a conversation with someone who is wearing sunglasses. All my uncomfortable feelings about someone wearing sunglasses is squarely based on the fact that I cannot see their eyes. This inability to see someone's eyes and not be able to make eye contact with them when having a conversation leaves one with the same feeling: "What are you hiding from me?' or "what don't you want me to know?"
It cannot be emphasized enough the value of making direct eye contact when communicating with our partner.
The more sensitive the communication, the more critical it is to have direct eye contact with our partner and maintain it throughout the length of the conversation. This is because direct eye contact lets our partner know we are truly listening to what they are saying to us. Perhaps just as importantly direct eye contact allows us to feel the message beyond the words. And I know you know what I mean.
Direct eye contact also minimizes the chance for miscommunication while increasing the chance that everyone feels respected, whether you and your partner are agreeing with each other or not.
Unless you are a world class liar, (and they do exist) it is almost impossible to be dishonest with someone when you are looking directly into their eyes. Honesty is a vital sign for any healthy relationship. Looking directly into our partner's eyes when communicating with them is the best way of letting them know you are being honest with them.
Eyes are the windows to the soul. Really. Every healthy relationship allows their partners to have a glimpse into each other's soul. Isn't this what intimacy, trust and romance in our relationship is all about?
