subject: Help Saving My Relationship -Where Do I Look? [print this page] Since you are reading this, it is obvious that you need help saving my relationship. A relationship that is on the rocks or already broken off can consume your every thought, and it can actually control your emotions as well. You are doing the right thing by seeking advice, and with the tips here, you will be on your way to reconnecting with your special someone. If your relationship is in trouble, but neither of you have made it official yet, can I make a suggestion? Break it off first! Now this of course, is if you do not want the break up. I know it sounds backwards, because your natural instinct wants to beg and plead. The purpose is to let the other person off the hook, so they can let their guard down. You can say something like "I know this has not been going well, and maybe we should just break it off." That way it is your idea not theirs. What this does is it gives the other person relief, because they are going through emotional turmoil also. The other person will automatically look at you in a different light. It makes them wonder, which is great, that is what you want! You want them to wonder what you are up to. You want to be a challenge to them, but not be impossible. All the while keep in mind that a person wants what they think they can not have. If you have already broken up and need help saving my relationship, you can use the advice from this point forward. The next step is crucial, and no matter how hard it may seem, you have to do it. You must cease all communication with your ex. Once again, we want them to wonder what we are up to. No phone calls, emails or text messaging. Do not go to places you think they might be. Instead, keep yourself busy. The ideal no contact period is for a minimum of a month. This will give you time to look deep inside of yourself and determine why you broke up to start with, and whether or not it is worth it to try to get back together. Some relationships are not worth salvaging. If that is the case, it is time for you to move on. During this period of time, go to work on yourself, inside and out. Become a better person than you were the last time you spoke to your ex. Start working out, hook up with friends that you have not seen in a long time, take up a hobby. Be creative with it. Have fun and be happy! This will do you a world of good. While you are working on yourself for that month, keep the end in mind. Picture how they are going to respond to you when you finally talk to them again, and how impressed they are going to be with the new you. Your next step is going to be your opening move, which is just as critical as your cease communication period. You want to make sure and get this part right.
