subject: Things You Should do Before You Take Your Cheating Ex Back [print this page] Things You Should do Before You Take Your Cheating Ex Back
Things You Should do Before You Take Your Cheating Ex Back
You've done the breakup dance and found you didn't like the tune. That's very understandable. Breaking up with someone, even though that person cheated on you, does not make you stop loving that person. But, before you take your cheating ex back you need to do a few things.
Clear the Air
You can't just go and pick things up where they left off. If your ex was cheating on you there is something going on that has to be addressed before the two of you can get back together. You need to find out why.
This may take a little digging but getting to the bottom of things now will help you avoid the same thing happening in the future. Unfortunately, it's not enough simply to find out "why". You have to find a clear path to "what next?"
What this means is that you can't just figure out why and then hope it doesn't happen again. You have to take steps to prevent it from happening again. The old adage about prevention being the best cure is pure gold.
Once you figure out what set of circumstances led to the cheating in the first place you will be prepared to never allow it to happen again. Both of you can actively work to prevent a situation where cheating is the likely, or even a possible, outcome.
Establish Boundaries
Going back into a relationship after cheating needs to be a little bit like starting over from scratch. You need to throw away a lot of the old familiarity, the old fights, the same tired arguments, and get rid of emotional baggage that is left over from five or so years ago.
In order to avoid new fights about the same old things you need to declare some things off limits (including the affair). Neither of you will be able to heal if you are constantly opening up old wounds. They need to be resolved and buried.
The relationships that make it for the long haul are the ones that are constantly looking forward and planning for the future and not so busy looking at what has already happened in the past that they don't see what lies ahead.
Make Plans
Since there are so many benefits to keeping your eyes on what lies ahead it's also beneficial to begin making plans for the future. Set goals and then create a path to achieve those goals together.
Create goals both of you can feel a sense of accomplishment about and that can become a point of pride for the two of you as individuals and as a couple.
