subject: Chapter 18: The Year of the Clown [print this page] Chapter 18: The Year of the Clown Chapter 18: The Year of the Clown
Chapter 18: The Year of the Clown
At the end of 1982, I was grateful for my dreams and my dream journal for the many calls they had given me during the year. Among them were those to love and appreciate the Earth, to develop the deepest goodness within myself, to rejoice in the gifts and values I had been given, and to remember my deceased loved ones and their power in my life.
I decided that I could begin my new journal for the year sometime between my birthday, November 17 and the beginning of the new year, January 1. This time also contains the Advent season, the beginning of the Church Year. Birthdays are a time of reflection, a pausing point to consider the year past and the potential of a new year of growth to come. Each year brings with it an extra portion of wisdom and personal grace, a beautiful growth process as stated on one of my birthday cards.
I had become interested in clown ministry as a way to teach and had attended several clown ministry wowrkshops. Seeing the possibilities for growth in this mode of expression, I chose the CLOWN for my symbol of the year. My very own clown emerged. I named him Hesed which means tender, loving care. This I hoped would put a brake on my more demanding mode of operation and on my perfectionism. Hese's name is of biblical origin. The blue butterfly which he wears on his forehead is a symbol of the freedom of the children of God. His yellow sunflowers speak of the simplicity of his life, his one goal of loving God living in each human person and reflected in every living thing. Hesed appeared in certain religious education events especially in the prayer serice for the reception of the Eucharist books. On this special occasion, he danced to the song Bakerwoman, holding a loaf of bread, symbolizing the joy of our Eucharistic sharing. He also lead a group of young clowns from seventh and eighth grade who were also learning the benefits of clown ministry.
The Christian aspect of clowning asks that we put on a new person. The white face signifies dying to self and entering into resurrection. For dealing with all ages, clowning is the ideal medium of communication, the language of the heart. Clowns are simple people, free from pretension, close to the earth. The word clown comes from the English word for "clod". To discover the clown within is to discover the child within. Primitive people were very much like children. They appreciated their clowns and knew they needed them. Clowns helped the tribes understand and even solve their problems.
The manner in which a clown approaches people, with awe, reverence, and wonder portrays a way of getting in touch with the God who gives us joy, laughter and hope.It has been recognized that the clown, like no other presence can minister to and heal a hurting or troubled crowd. The symbol of the clown is an important link between our love of God and our love for each other in friendship.
Clowns are a unique example of transformation. They transform time, people, things and actions. They can empathize with the marginalized and the powerless. Like prophets, clowns offer another perception of reality and urge us to work for a more just society. Clowns help us to get in touch with our feelings and our earthiness. Crying with the sorrowful and laughing with those who are happy, they allow us to let go or our fears, our inhibitions, our anger, our prejudicess and our anxiety. They assist us to participate in the playfullness of God.
If felt that my symbol of the clown for my dream journal had beenblessed as the first dream of the year found me reading in a dark church, looking at an old hierglyphic chart whose message was: "The Lord is My Light". Upon awakening, I looked up the psalm and its prayer was perfect for the day:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? One thing I ask of Yahweh, one thing I seek : to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to enjoy the sweetness of Yahweh, and to consult hin in his temple." (Psalm 27)
Another evening, I found myself walking through a large house. I passed a dining room full of guests . Then I climbed astep ladder of beautiful gold. The upstairs was unfinished, unrepaired and empty except for one woman. I could hardly speak as I asked her," Where am I?" She didnn't seem to know. Suddenly a man appeared at the top of the steps to call me down. He said, "You are not supposed to be here yet". This experience seemed to promise me adventures to come. It was a promise of a part of me yet to be explored, a part of life yet to be lived.
A few nights later, I dreamed of a dragonfluy whcih seemed to be able to endure all kinds of suffering and still live. I prayed that I too would have this kind of strength and endurance. Later I discovered that in Native American lore, the dragonfly medicine is of the dreamtine and the illusionary facade we accept as physical reality. Dragonfly is the essence of the winds of change, the messages of wisdon and enlightment and the communications for the elemental world. This elemental world is made up of the tiny spirits of plants and of the elements air, earth, fire and water. The book, Behaving As If The God In AllLife Mattered by Machaelle Wright taught me more about these nature spirits and gave me a great desire to someday visit Perelandra and perhaps even Findhorn. Both of these desires have been fulfilled.
