subject: Relationship Dos And Donts [print this page] There is much which can be said on this topic and there is no possible way that any person in the world can adequately cover all areas which should be covered but I feel that if you take my humble knowledge based on the little bit of experience that I have had in life and add it to what you know or have gotten from others it may help you in some way shape or form.
The very first bit of advice that I can give anyone is to not listen to what people say about your husband, wife, fiance, or whatever the case may be. Look and learn them for yourself. Men and women alike often have a diabolical motive for the negative things that they will say. There may even be a motive for the positive. Allowing people to talk to you about any person who has any kind of significance in your life is not a good idea under any circumstances and should not be done. Dont even allow this to start under any circumstances.
We also should not allow people to dictate how we should relate to others. The key thing is that we should be self directed. In other words we should act based on what we have learned for ourselves and not on the suggestions of other people. Manipulators are so keen at observing us and playing on our emotions that the only way to combat them is to just not listen to what they have to say. Dont let others dictate the move that you should have to take in a relationship. I dont think its good to seek the advice of others in matters which affect your happiness. You need to be ready to take the blame for a bad decision if it just comes down to owning up to it. You have to trust your own judgment. If a hard decision needs to be made dont procrastinate. Do what you have to do and dont prolong the agony any longer than necessary.
Dont be in a hurry to get into in a permanent or bonding relationship with someone. I believe that most relationship problems occur when one or both parties is unpleasantly surprised by what they find out after they have tied the knot. Its not fair to expect any person to be what you want them to be. Be careful not to develop expectations that you want others to fulfill. When you make your own satisfaction the basis of the relationship you effectively doom it to failure.
Whenever there is some prospect of relationship remember that both parties will be on their best behavior. The small things will become magnified once you decide to make the relationship permanent. Love looks beyond faults and ignores the things that may not be as pretty as you would like for them to be. Focus on the good but dont choose to ignore the bad. Remember that if you were to look closely at your own life you will also find faults.
I bought a mirror recently which magnifies everything to give a good close up view. When I put it up to my face I was shocked at all of the small imperfections that I had never seen before. When I look at my face in a regular mirror the complexion is smooth and the skin tone is good. The skin looks clean and healthy, but when I use the mirror the story is totally different. We should take this into account when we consider our own lives. We often fail to see our own faults because we see ourselves as the standard that everyone else should be judged by. We need to be able to see beyond our own selfish desires in order to have good relationships with others. Riceland Enterprises
