subject: Marraige After Infidelity- Two Strategies To Stay Alive After The Affair [print this page] Marraige After Infidelity- Two Strategies To Stay Alive After The Affair
How to survive an affair can be a nightmare of suspicion, emotional hurt, disagreement and a dragging descent towards separation and divorce. Even so your marriage after an affair can also become an affair that is stronger and more loving than it was before. Read on to learn how you can attain this...
The strategy to getting through an affair in a marriage is not about forgetting the cheating but instead forgiving the cheating. This is not easy though and can take a while to get done for some people and a faster for others but it is possible if you remember these few tips:
Make a new marriage, do not rebuild the same one
One of the most immediate response to infidelity is of course just wishing it did not happen... oddly even if before was not that good. You see, things will NEVER be the same again, how could they? Trying to fix something as shattered and broken as the trust and your relationship will just produce a weak facsimile of the marriage before you found out the cheating. Just as a delicate vase shattered and glued back together. It could be very difficult, but it can be done. It will need a lot of patience and hard work to have everything fixed.
Instead you should focus on building a fresh relationship, a new marriage with a new set of values and a new way to live and love. The affair can not be forgotten but it can be forgiven and a new direction taken.
Do not add to the anger and resentment
Although it is inevitable for you to feel outraged and bitter when your spouse cheats on you with another, feeding this beast only makes it stronger and more difficult to handle. If you give in to anger and direct it against your partner you will cause them to retaliate. You will also gradually create an invisible barrier to open and honest communication that that is supposed to help your relationship.
If you are ever becoming so angry that you cannot have a good conversation simply inform your partner you are angry and need a little time to cool off then take a walk maybe. Don't ever give into the negative beast that lives inside you if you want to look for an answer and rebuild your marriage and love. It is essential to allow your relationship a little space to breathe sometimes. It will just go back to normal and everything will be manageable again when you reach out to each other.
For more help and suggestions on surviving an affair in your marriage please go to my site and browse through my story of how I beat the evils of jealousy and resentment to forgive my wife and make way for us to grow even closer than we have ever been and how the lessons I learned can help you achieve the same.
