subject: What You Need to Know to Save A Marriage [print this page] What You Need to Know to Save A Marriage What You Need to Know to Save A Marriage
The decision to get married is one of the most important decisions many people make. Some people take a large amount of time to choose the right partner, while others rush into it. Either way, there is a risk of not succeeding. There are many aspects to being tied to another person, especially living with another person, which is not considered before tying the knot.
People do not always give forethought to sharing space and belongings or even things as important as parenting. How many people, after all, have immediate thoughts of children when they are first considering getting married? There are many instances where things begin as minor issues and blow up into huge debates. Some of these include money handling, housekeeping, differences in libido, and child raising. Even levels of education can play a part. These issues can become a major strain on a once healthy relationship and there comes a need to save a marriage.
Consider today's divorce rate, which differs depending on the source. One could say that divorce is commonplace. However, the main goal should be to save a marriage. There are many ways to work together as a couple in order to do this. Counselors are available; sometimes programs are available through one's employer. It is important to commit to a counseling program as a couple. Like marriage, counseling needs equal partnership to achieve success. Another option to solving a marriage's problems is working it as a couple, without outside help.
Working out problems as a couple can be very frustrating and also very rewarding. First, this issue needs to be addressed. It is wisest to avoid nagging and to sit down and talk about the problem. The best way to have a serious conversation that won't result in a shouting match is to sit down together and hold hands. It is so much harder to yell at someone with whom one has physical contact.
Have a written script, if necessary, highlighting the major problems and leaving some of the smaller points alone. Heaping everything into one conversation can be overwhelming for anyone and too much finger-pointing causes more harm than good. There is a place to compromise and that needs to be agreed on. Find a reward system that agrees with your own personal financial status and lifestyle. In addition, most importantly, find common ground and remain calm.
Sometimes the things that seem like the biggest issues are not so immense after all. When people take the time to understand one another, search for the reasons they got married in the first place, and commit to one another, it is possible to stay married. With a little work, a couple can save a marriage. All it takes is understanding and teamwork.
