subject: Relationship Counsellors, Do You Need One? [print this page] Relationship Counsellors, Do You Need One?
Is your marriage bond threatened? The marriage bond these days just doesn't seem as sacred as it once was. Divorce is more common, easier to get and certainly not regarded as the social stigma that it was, not that many years ago. Most relationship counsellors tend to lay the blame at the feet of the partner who actually cheats. Personally, I don't believe it can be that black and white. Of course it's easy to blame the one who actually took action but in reality that's an easy way out. Even courts recognise, in the case of physical crimes, the concept of mental cruelty and provocation. People can be driven to action by words, lack of action, reaction to attitudes, in fact by any number of intangible acts. Rarely is interaction between human beings defined by a set of black and white rules, we're far too complex for that.
Having condemned relationship counsellors are they then worth engaging in order to resolve conflicts and help you repair your relationship? Of course they are, so long as they can present an unbiased approach to the couple and offer genuine neutral guidance. Guidance is really all they can offer because the work of repairing the relationship rests with couple. The counsellor can't do it for you. All they can do is to help you get on the right path.
So, how do you find a reputable, good counsellor? You can search the Yellow Pages, your local business directory, the numerous telephone support services or maybe a recommendation from a friend. These avenues will lead you to a counsellor in their office who you will need to physically visit and pay for each and every consultation.
These days, the internet offers an alternative. There are many counsellors who have seen the benefits of going on line and making their services available through time tested products which you will have in your hand so that you can work at them in your own time, at your own pace, when and where it suits you. No more having to arrange a time when you can both get to the appointment or have someone look after the children.
They also offer something unique in that if you are not satisfied with their efforts and materials you can get a refund, get your money back. Try doing that with a counsellor who has sat for three sessions with you in their office. In contrast to the office bound counsellor the internet relationship program will probably cost little more than one visit to a counsellor's office.
It is also possible to get an idea of what the counsellor will present and what their abilities are by receiving, via email, samples of what they offer in relationship guidance.
So, before you go down the path of either kind of counselling you need to establish that both of you want to work at repairing your relationship. Without that initial undertaking everything else would just be a waste of time and money. Take your time, be calm and realistically look at yourselves and your relationship and basically decide, ask the question of yourselves and each other "do we want to save this relationship?' Whatever your answer I wish you the best for the future and don't feel bad if you decide not to. Sometimes we have to accept that not all relationships are meant to last. Better to face that now than suffer again in the years to come.
