subject: Play Hard to Get – How to Make it Work for You [print this page] Play Hard to Get How to Make it Work for You
Are you really bad when it comes to playing hard to get and you need to learn how to do it more effectively? Is it a game that leaves you feeling uncomfortable or even deceitful in front of a guy? Have you always preferred playing it straight forward, putting all your cards on the table for the guy to see? Playing hard to get isn't deceitful at all; in fact it's a very important tool in the building of a new relationship. Read on to find out how to do it right and why it's so vital.
If you look at courtship from the guy's point of view, you'll see that he has an instinctive need to be stimulated and challenged. This isn't really just a macho game. It's an inherent need to prove to himself, to other men and most importantly to you that he is the best man out there to make you happy.
By just sitting there and letting him win, you're eliminating the chance for him to prove himself worthy. This is kind of like telling him that virtually any man could win you over easy; and this isn't very appealing to a guy. Throughout all this, he wants to know that he had something special, something above all the other guys that enabled him to win you over.
Surely you've heard the man in an established relationship go on and on about how he won the heart of his misses. He's proud of the fact that he won her over.
And from your point of view, don't you want a man to be able and willing to show himself worthy of your attention and affection? If you think about it, it is rather silly to open up and discuss your future plans with a man, or even go to bed with a man that you barely even know anything about?
So hold back just a bit and let him see that he has some work ahead of him. If the guy gets discouraged and backs down it could be for one of two reasons. Either you're playing it too hard to get and you've given him no indication that he has a chance with you, or he's just proven to you that he's not really the man for you.
The key to playing hard to get is keeping a healthy balance of giving him an inch, but holding back the rest. Show signs of interest all while avoiding being too available to him. That spark of interest is what's going to keep him coming back for more and the fact that you're not completely giving yourself to him tells him that he still has to keep the work up if he wants to continue to impress you.
It can be tempting to automatically say yes when a cute guy asks you for a date, but let him see that you're not sure he deserves it yet, though you do want him to know that you hold a degree of interest. Above all you want to avoid displaying this as a game. If he feels you're deliberately toying with him, it can be a huge turn off.
Always keep in mind the fact that you don't yet know this guy enough and let that be your motivation to hold back honestly. Playing hard to get isn't just a game. It's your way of finding out what's really going on in this guy's head and heart.
