subject: Rebuilding A Marriage After Infidelity - One Vital Element [print this page] Rebuilding A Marriage After Infidelity - One Vital Element
Rebuilding marriage after infidelity happens and is an even in their lives that can never be forgotten by anyone and only a few can ever forgive. The specter of the affair haunts a marriage once it occurs and both the cheater and the victim end up miserable and often the marriage does not last. This is not one of the things that you want to happen to your relationship as man and wife.
For some this might be the better thing to happen, but for those who might be affected by the pain and do not know what to do still want to keep their marriage intact and are doing their best to understand the betrayal and work toward some sort of forgiveness... well, you need some help. You just cannot continue to live in this blackness so you have to do something. There is an important element however in this that many people end up ignoring while trying to rebuild a marriage after infidelity. If left alone or misunderstood this can cause a failure of understanding, communication and reconciliation. Do the exact opposite of that and find out where it can lead your relationship.
This element is trying to hold on to the past and recreate your old marriage. While you might want to go back to your old life, before this took place... or at least before you knew... it cannot happen. Your old life is no longer existent, your old marriage is to be left alone and trying to bring it back is like trying to stick a square peg into a round hole. This means that you should not continue to think about on how everything was before, instead, work hard to create a a different world for your marriage. Replace all the things that made it bad with something that will turn it into a good one.
The only way to actually survive an affair and keep your marriage is to start anew. Create a NEW marriage with new ways of living trusting and loving. IF you remain in the past, the past will destroy your future. So the initial thing to do is to accept this and rid yourself of those old things. Take note of them though but do not pretend it can be like it was before. based on this you can now continue to find yourself and your partner via communication to find a way through and save your marriage from divorce. In order to achieve this, both of you must cooperate as it cannot be done alone.
For more tips and suggestions on Rebuilding a Marriage After Infidelity please drop by my site and read my experience on how I get through the demons of jealousy and resentment to forgive my wife and enable us to grow even closer than we have ever been. The lessons I discovered can help you do the same.
